How to Handle Negativity in Your Poly Relationships

There are levels to everything. It’s a cliché of life to say, but then you wake up tomorrow morning, and YOU will be measured by a number of universal status quotients—your income bracket, for one, and on a less crass level, your health status.

There are billionaires, millionaires, people like me and you, and people who are rich in freedom and live on the streets (bless them all, we are all just humans looking for love.) And likewise, there are professional sports players and Olympians with amazing physiques, relatively healthy people, sick people, and those on their death bed (once again, everyone just wants to not be alone in the special moments of life.)

I say all this to say, the measurements are all we know of difference and recognition of truth and fact. The kindest hippies and the most accurate science say, “we are all one organism,” but we are all not sharing the exact same experiences and observations in life. And thus, we do not have the same expressions.

When some of us are feeling joy, others are feeling excruciating pain. Considering polyamory means sharing relationships and experiences, there has to be a diversity of energetic impact with people involved. It’s very rare for everyone to be on the exact same emotional page in a triad or beyond.

Not to say that when one person is sad, the others have to be happier, but it’s just that the ebb and flow of emotion can go anywhere and be anything between anyone! Being aware of that makes it easier to navigate when things get SERIOUS.

There are regular frustrations that happen daily (or monthly) like traffic, PMS, inflation and such. And then there are SEVERE problems in polyamory, like verbal abuse, name calling, walking away in fury, running away in more fury, if not physical anger contact, and more, but hopefully not more.

What are your limits and boundaries of negativity? For me, it’s name calling. I know I’ve lost total control of my emotions if and when I’m ever calling someone by a bad name. I haven’t done it to a lover in a very long time, but nobody’s perfect. I don’t abuse physically EVER. Personal promise.

It’s good to know what your triggers are and your limits that decide how far you go on each level of life in love because once you get to the end of one level, you graduate to another, higher or lower—and on some level, there’s no turning back!

Be careful
Addi Stewart

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