Poly Relationships

Are You Open to Partners with Different Politics and Philosophies?

Friends at the Library

Do you have the same politics as all of your partners? That might be a blessing, maybe a curse. Some people don’t think they can grow and expand much as a person if they live in an echo chamber, where everyone around them has the same feelings and emotions about things that matter to them.

A classroom is one of the greatest examples of different perspectives having value and use. Different levels of understanding, ignorance, history, and philosophical perspectives allow students to hear ideas from other angles. Do we often get that blessing in life and love? Not too much, especially if we think there’s only “The One” partner for us in life.

There are so many options that are not being considered if a person only cares to open their heart and mind and body to one person, if they only have one partner with the exact same or similar philosophical perspective. What their partner thinks and what they think is acceptable to their partner can affect their growth.

There are some people who are trans and poly and lesbian who really want to protect their lives by not having any toxic masculinity around them, not have any right-wing Republicans around them, not have any tinfoil hat conspiracy theorists around them from the far left, or sometimes not even have ANY heterosexual people in their life and circle.

Sometimes people’s sexual politics get that severe and serious, and if these boundaries keep their polyamorous relationships happy and healthy, they will probably continue without giving a fuck what anyone else thinks.

There are times when politics really get in the way of regular emotional connections, and might totally end the intimacy between people. Sometimes sharing food or space or more can’t be achieved because the poison of political revelations or realities stops relationships from continuing in a healthy manner.

Did you surprisingly find out your partner supports someone you hate with all your heart and soul? This sometimes happens. I’m a sex worker as well as being poly, so the thoughts of politicians affect my livelihood directly and consistently. Do you hate Tr*mp, and then find out shockingly that your partner secretly supports him? Or maybe you loathe Tr*deau, and your partner loves Canada’s Prime Minister?

Do your votes have an impact on your finances and housing? Do you think you can live and love someone who has similar sexual values but different political values? It’s a challenge, but it’s not impossible. Everyone has their own choices and values, and nobody is right or wrong. Please just follow your heart and your values, and make the space you can for the people you feel right spending time with these days.

The world is more polarized than ever, and sometimes it’s hard to know who to keep close and who to let go of. But whether you remain friends or lovers, or decide to not discuss politics or religion or other potentially volatile subjects, just know that you’re right in whatever choices you make.

Not everyone has to agree with you, and you are also not forced to always agree with yourself either—you can change your mind as much as you want in a free country. You can also choose lovers and poly partners that align best with your values. That will probably be the best for most people.

Currently, I have a partner who is the exact OPPOSITE astrological sign from me, and in many ways in life, she is totally my opposite—not politically, but philosophically. She frustrates me sometimes. We argue sometimes. And I sometimes raise my voice (then I apologize and work on breaking the cycle, I promise.) Yet, we are still together after two years! You never know what politics and bullshit will keep two people together or break them apart.

Vote for love and truth in every relationship, and you’ll be fine—if there’s any justice in the world!

Sincerely,
Addi Stewart

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