There are dozens of reasons why people consider or practice polyamorous relationships. And there are so many types of poly dynamics along the spectrum, that we are sure there would be one to fit your lifestyle.
5 Reasons to Try an Open Relationship
1. You never have to break up or divorce over sex.
Throughout the duration of even most traditional marriages, one or both partners has affairs. The experience means intense feelings of jealousy, betrayal, resentment, and fear. A marriage can break apart for a few unreasoned moments with someone you don’t even love, and this negatively impacts the security and trust of both partners as well as the children.
Unfortunately, this means that the need for sexual intimacy or sexual variety is downplayed or condemned, and people who are faithful to their commitment have to reject this need.
2. You never have to break up or divorce over not having sex.
Conversely, some married people must live without sex in order to stay married!
If you or your wife is sick or grows incapable of sex, or the sex drive is lost, suddenly it’s a sacrifice you didn’t sign up for. Even if the person who no longer wants sex is willing to keep having it, we all know pity sex is worse than none.
By opening a relationship, sexual needs can be met and other aspects of the relationship can take the focus.
Think about it: if you or your wife have an accident or an illness, do you really want to break up over resentment of not having sex? When you need each other most, abandoning one another because of natural needs is unnecessary trauma.
3. Spiritual and emotional growth.
Yes, having a diverse sex life with multiple partners contributes to your personal growth. Do you really want to stunt your wife’s emotional and spiritual development? Yours?
How often do you hear someone say, “I learned so much from this person,” even about a negative experience or relationship?
We learn from other people. The most intense learning from others, naturally, is when we are at our most intimate. Whether positive or negative, our encounters show us the human heart and teach us about our own emotions. Sometimes it is years before we see an old relationship in a new way, and observe over time the impact of our actions or convictions.
Think of people, and more specifically, about sex, like a library. There is so much to know! There is great merit in reading the same book over and over. There is even more to learn from reading many of the books available to us.
4. Overcome fear of commitment.
A tale of two Kitties: I have two friends named Katherine, and one is Kat for short and the other is Kit. Kat has dated many worthy men but her deep seated fear of being limited keeps her from settling down. What she wants most is a husband and a family, but she is terrified that she won’t be able to make that work and will “screw it up.”
Kit on the other hand seldom dates at all. That doesn’t stop her from griping about how men suck. It’s totally unattractive, even though she is gorgeous. She is so afraid of being trapped that she is neglecting her needs for sex and love completely.
What if both women found a new narrative, one where they saw their natural born desires as a gift, not an impossible curse?
5. Face your fears instead of hiding them.
Most of us fear a partner’s unfaithfulness, or wonder how we might handle sexual jealousy or feelings of betrayal. We wonder how we can cope with sharing, or how we compare to someone’s past or imagined partners.
The only time we ever have to face these fears is when everything is falling apart. Whether an affair is an indiscretion or a heart-wrenching experience of being divided and falling in love with someone else, what if we carried on from here with a new attitude? In the polyamorous paradigm, we have the opportunity to face all these what-ifs head on, without losing what we love.