My partner and I just returned from an amazing trip to Washington D.C. He was there for a conference and invited me along so we could enjoy some time away together. It was my first trip out of the country, and as such was a meaningful experience that I will always remember fondly. Apart from the fact that the flight was on time and that we had no other travel-related stressors to contend with, I really feel that things went smoothly for us because we had considered the following things prior to setting out.
Being in a poly relationship can make planning things a little crazy. There are a lot of things to consider in any relationship when arranging a trip, from work schedules to important life events to child care. Now imagine each of these factors multiplied by the number of people in your poly relationship (or “polycule” as some people like to call it). Let’s just say it took us a number of weeks to plan everything and much of that time involved checking in with everyone and making sure that no one would be hurt or inconvenienced by our timing. One way of hastening this process is to keep a joint calendar so everyone can see what’s already been scheduled, thereby avoiding any potential conflicts.
Communication with Other Partners
Our trip was so special for me in part because it was the first time my partner and I had gotten to spend a substantially interrupted amount of time together. We were gone for five days, during which time we settled into something of a pseudo-monogamous rhythm. We rented a small apartment, went grocery shopping together and made delicious meals which we ate in front of the TV, like a long-married couple. The thing that kept this scenario so very poly is that throughout this time we had lots of check-ins with other partners. It was important to both of us that we maintained regular communication with everyone. It made me feel relaxed and happy for my partner to know that he was enjoying a great conversation with my metamour while I was out exploring the neighborhood, or just enjoying some time to myself. As someone who’s experienced what it’s like to be at home when my partner and metamour travel, I also know how lovely it is to receive a call or text just to share in the experience and hear that I am missed.
This is especially applicable if you happen to be traveling to a place that you’ve visited before with another partner. While it can be fun to share in something you already feel is special or familiar, it’s also a good idea to plan some new memory-making events that belong specifically to the two of you. It’s a way of bonding and defining the relationship that I have found to be very rewarding. Not only is it fun to explore and try different things, but sharing stories of your experiences with the rest of your polycule can be a great way to spread the joy. Just be sure not to rave on about it so much that you make everyone else jealous!