Tips for Traveling as a Poly Group
As I write this, I’m sitting in the passenger seat of a van that’s packed to the gills with luggage and my entire polycule. We’re on a two-week road trip… to the East Coast of Canada! Woohoo!
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Now, I must be honest. When the idea was first presented to me, I was a little skeptical. I really wasn’t sure how we would cope in close quarters as a group, and navigate the inherent challenges of travel.
It’s one week in and I’m happy to report that things are going well! I think that part of our success lies in the fact that we did some good foundation work before setting out.
How to Make Your Poly Vacation Run Smoothly
Start Planning Early
You can’t expect things to go according to plan if you don’t put some time and work into it. Think about some places you would like to visit as a group. How long will you be gone? Will you stay in a hotel or an Airbnb? How will you structure the sleeping arrangements? How will you divide the cost? These are just a few of the things you should work out well in advance of hitting the road.
Involve Everyone in the Planning Process
Set aside time as a group to hash out all the details. Try to avoid making decisions with one partner that will potentially impact everyone. This can easily lead to feelings of exclusion and resentment, which will create tension on the road. It can be challenging to plan something that everyone can agree on, which is why it’s so important to start early.
Discuss Expectations
We realized the need for this after the first trip we took as a group ended in exhaustion and disagreement. Some of us think of vacations as a time for rest and relaxation while a whole other set of us think of them as an opportunity to get out and see and do everything! Talk about what each of you are hoping to get out of things before you leave and there will be fewer misunderstandings.
Be Flexible
Even with all your plans in place, things have a way of being thrown into chaos. Try to roll with it as best you can with the intention of evening things out for everyone in the end. If your metamour really wants to see the world’s largest ball of twine but you’re too exhausted for a detour and need to find a motel, try to make up for it the next day.
Debrief and Reassess before Your Next Trip
What worked and what didn’t? Would you even attempt such a thing again? Give everyone a chance to share their thoughts. It may be that some members of your polycule are finished with the whole poly travel thing, and that’s their choice. The point is to structure your future time together so that everyone feels happy and respected.
Do you have any poly travel stories to tell? Share them in the comments!
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