Polyamory means loving lots of people—including yourself. Masturbation can be restorative, healing, energizing, entertaining, and stress relieving.
If you are currently attached to one or more lovers, masturbation still provides all the benefits of me-time and more. The act of giving yourself pleasure is a sex-positive, life-affirming, cost-effective way to treat yourself.
While you probably don’t NEED any tips on how to jerk off, you ARE probably in a bit of a rut. Most of us enjoy variety, kink, and imagination during partner sex, but take the same old path when it comes to flying solo.
If your masturbation habits are too tried and true—sitting at the computer or giving it a fast and furious yank into a tissue before sleep—you might want to try something new.
How to Keep Masturbation Fresh and Fun
Switch up the kind of porn you usually jerk off to.
Why not? Your favorites will still be there next time.
Is one of your lovers into something you don’t necessarily share? You can browse in private, exploring the things that turn her on. You might get some ideas for how to please her, or find out something new about yourself.
Slow play with yourself.
Why is solo sex always a quickie? No need to leave the longer love sessions to somebody else—you can take more time when you masturbate.
Rediscover the full range of sensations at hand by rubbing yourself with the opposite hand or another kind of stroke. Try it dry or with tons more lube than usual. Slow things down by turning off the porn and tuning in to the feeling. Experiment with a new toy. Rub your cock at different times throughout the day, and walk about with that delicious aroused feeling, knowing the blast is coming later.
Practice orgasm denial and edging.
A stronger orgasm has many benefits, including increased pleasure of the moment.
Restraint, denial, and edging are fun ways to practice heightening arousal with a lover, and ultimately result in a ferocious climax. You don’t need a partner, however, to enjoy extreme stimulation. In masturbation, you can practice holding back, increasing arousal, taking your hands off just as you come to the edge of it, and taking it to the next level.
Masturbate to become a better lover.
It might seem counterintuitive—if you feel stretched too thin, making time to make love with several partners, you might want to store up your sexual energy. But sexual energy is renewable, and keeping the flame burning might be a great way to access more to go around.
Experimenting by yourself, fantasizing, and keeping delicious memories of sex close by will all benefit the love you make with your partners.
Add kink and BDSM to your self-love practice.
Self-love doesn’t have to be vanilla. Kink can be something you try on for fun, or something you already identify with. There are a million manifestations of kink, endless fetishes, and a never-ending supply of new ways to express yourself sexually.
Me-time is the perfect time to experiment with toys, paraphernalia, sensations, fantasies, scenarios, roles, costumes, and more. Just don’t do anything dangerous, like lock yourself up where no one will find you, or try auto-erotic asphyxiation (many people have died by accident that way.)
You can run things through solo before springing them on a lover, test driving different kinks to see what might be fun with your partner. Or you can keep your kink a secret if you prefer, and enjoy your private time in a unique way that is just for you.
And when you want to share your solo kinks, check out these 4 Tips for Masturbating in Front of Your Poly Lover.
How do you kink up your masturbation sessions? Dare to share in the comments!
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