Tips & Advice

4 Tips for Masturbating in Front of Your Poly Lover

Men Undoing His Belt

Are you and your partners looking for new ways to spice things up between the sheets? You could invest in some state-of-the-art sex toys, or you could save money and use your own two hands—literally. Mutual masturbation is a great, uncomplicated way to bring some sexy fun into your life.

Here are tips on how to introduce mutual masturbation into your relationship and how to make the most of its trust-building benefits.

4 Tips for Masturbating in Front of Her

1. Confirm Her Consent

Are you a creep who might as well be jacking it on a park bench? Or are you a kinky guy putting on a one-man show? The answer lies in whether or not you have gained your partner’s consent. Masturbation is nothing to be ashamed of, but it is a sexual act. As such, it should only ever be shared with a willing spectator.

I realize it can a little awkward to broach the subject. You could do it in the heat of the moment, or you could have a separate conversation in which you express your desire to perform for her. Either way, don’t just spring it on her.

2. Make It Mutual

Who knows? By talking about your desire to masturbate in her presence, you might open up a whole new realm of fantasy and sexual expression for her. Mutual masturbation is not only super hot, it’s also a good opportunity to bond and be vulnerable together.

Tell her how hard it would make you to watch her. Be encouraging and create a safe space by expressing your enthusiasm and avoiding jokes and criticism. (You might feel awkward, and you might want to tease her to break the tension, but it’s so not a good time for that.) Take turns in the spotlight, or go at it simultaneously—whatever works for the two of you.

3. Pull Out the Porn

If porn is an integral part of your masturbation routine, bring it into the mix! It can take time to build that level of trust, but if you’re comfortable with the idea, why not float it by your partner? Showing her what gets you off can be an educational experience. I’m not suggesting you should expect her to act out your favorite scenes, but that knowing what they are can give her a deeper understanding of what makes you tick.

You know what it takes to get yourself off, why not share that knowledge with her? If she’s not a fan of pornography, or she seems uncomfortable once the you press play, don’t push it.

4. Whack Off Over Wi-Fi

Mutual masturbation, over Skype or FaceTime, is a great way to engage in long-distance loving. Lots of poly couples spend substantial stretches of time apart, making Skype a great addition to their relationship toolkit.

You might also find that masturbating behind a webcam feels less awkward and revealing than doing it in person. You can think of it as a precursor to the live show, or something wonderful in and of itself. Just be sure you have a secure Wi-Fi connection and a good lock on your bedroom door.

What do you think? Would you feel brave enough to try it yourself?

Tell us what you think!

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