What Older Women Can Gain from Polyamory

I recently read an article about how an increasing number of older women are choosing to be single. As of 2016, women over the age of 65 comprised 68% of all people living alone, which is quite a departure from the way things used to be.

The article sites many reasons for this trend—from an increased need for freedom, to an unwillingness to take on the burdensome expectations of wifehood—and this got me thinking about my own life and how fortunate I am to have found a relationship dynamic that neither ties me down, nor makes me assume roles that I have no desire to fill.

Here’s why polyamory might be a great option for older women who have had it with traditional relationships, yet don’t want to be completely alone.

How Polyamory Benefits Older Women

Sexual Freedom

For many women, middle age signals a time of personal transformation and empowerment that—more often than not—culminates in increased sexual confidence. Women over forty who give no fucks and take no crap will not apologize for going after what they want in bed. They won’t be as willing to compromise, or sink all of their emotional resources into an underserving partner.

Polyamory offers a great jumping off point for the kind of sexual freedom an older woman might crave. She can decide what kind of poly dynamic she needs, then seek it out.

A Drama-Free Collection of Cubs to Choose From

Cougars are hot, and they aren’t afraid to admit it! The poly lifestyle can be the perfect match for a middle-aged woman looking to enjoy a full, variety-filled sex life. Sure, she could go on any standard dating site and pick up ten random cubs, but who’s to say that any one of them will understand her desire to keeps things light, or the fact that she can have feelings for more than one man at the same time?

In the polyverse—and on sites like PolyamoryDate.com—both situations are not only common, but fully acceptable. Why chance the drama if you don’t have to?

Solo Living without the Loneliness

One of the things I love most about my poly life is that I have the best of everything: a dedicated space to call my own, and lots of quality time in my partner and metamour’s home. As a middle-aged woman, I appreciate the variety, and the fact that I don’t have to be everything to everyone. My partner wants a family life and he has that. In the meantime, I get to enjoy life on my own terms.

More older women than ever are choosing to live on their own, and the poly lifestyle is a great way to alleviate some of the loneliness that can come of it.

Freedom from Traditional Gender Roles

Lots of women have had it with the expectations that come with being a wife, or live-in girlfriend. They’re sick of taking care of their partner’s physical needs and of shouldering more of the emotional labor in their relationships. Once divorced or widowed, many women say they’re not interested in ever going down that path again.

As I touched on earlier, polyamory is a great option for those who want a less traditional role in a partner’s life. There’s more freedom to structure things in a way that suits everyone’s needs, and less pressure on any one person to deliver the “whole package.”

What do you think? Do older women have a lot to gain from being poly?

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