Whether you are polyamorous or into serial monogamy, you’ve noticed one thing about women and sex: we are all different.
When guys are younger or new to sex, there’s one thing they are surprised by: killer moves are not transferable! What works like magic for Susie was annoying for Karen. What Jane told you never ever to do is what Brianna begs for.
You enjoy the variety and excitement of the challenge, and that’s why you date several women at a time. It’s hot to switch gears and satisfy the needs of different women. But there ARE some things that are universal.
3 Things All Women Want in Bed
1. Imagination and Creativity
You might not be Shakespeare or Picasso, but developing your imagination is still essential for great sex. Women want to be surprised and taken to new places, not to feel like mechanical robots or sex dolls. Even the best motions become humdrum if they aren’t infused with playfulness. Sex has to be a little bit cerebral, engaging our brains and imagination.
This might mean adding an elaborate set-up on occasion—staging a vivid scenario. It might be a lot more simple, like using his and hers towels as restraints when you forget yours at home. The element of surprise of combining unexpected things is key. Your imagination in bed is much more important than most of the things YOU think are on a woman’s mind, like biceps or penis size.
When was the last time you made out during the movie, or parked afterwards and felt her up under her fuzzy sweater?
Here’s a sex tip you shouldn’t forget: if you’re always the roses guy, good for you. But roses when you’re not usually that romantic take it to a whole other level.
If you usually do your romance thing in the evening and rush mornings to the office, switch it up and take her ravenously on a Monday morning, calling in late so you can continue what you started.
If she always loves giving you blowjobs, change the scene a bit and keep your jeans zipped up while you suck her, finger her, and go to town with a dildo.
Think about the things you never do, and do them. Add a twist to a tried-and-true routine. Explore a new kink together, something out of character for both of you. Send her a sext years after you stopped.
3. Attention and Focus
Mindfulness can really enhance your sex life. Our minds are always jumping around, from one arousing thought to another. The sex you had this morning with your wife may come to mind while you’re undressing your secondary partner, and that’s all normal and natural. But keep coming back to where you are, devoting your attention to the woman you are with.
The biggest turn off for women is when you’re somewhere else when she is ultra present, naked, and vulnerable. We know you date other women, and that you fantasize about more. But you’re here now, and without some sense that you want her in particular, there’s not much point.
If you want to be the man whose inbox overflows with invites, this simple point is all you need. Look at her, touch her, notice her—be with her.
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