Reconnecting with Past Poly Lovers

Have you ever gotten back together with a former lover, after a severe separation? It’s rough in monogamy, for sure.
But in polyamory, have you ever done something like that? Is it different for you when you know they might have disconnected from you in ways that run deeper than just one relationship ending, albeit even temporarily?

Separation in polyamory means often leaving more than one friend behind (sometimes not, but it happens quite regularly, I won’t lie just to look cute) ending more than one sexual relationship, and sometimes the repercussions just keep on cascading, long after the relationship has faded. But sometimes… it comes back!

That’s just how polyamory goes. Sometimes, things just need to cool off, or shift, or wait for something else, or just rebalance themselves in other places… before someone says, “Do you want to try getting back together again?”

If it feels safe, I’m the type to do it. BUT: I have thought of something called a protected re-connection, which aims to establish boundaries and criteria for the new relationship before it can move forward again. It’s a simple idea, but sometimes simple ideas are the hardest to maintain, especially with emotions and relationships!

So, I’m about to try this with a sacred and special person in my life, after a period of separation. I look forward to sharing a safe percentage of our connection, and taking things slow and steady. I’m in no rush to recreate the past.

If we can be a little gentle with the present, we can have a new baby future. And who knows what it will grow up to be this time!

Addi Stewart

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