It’s taken me a while to get to where I am in my sexual confidence. When I was young I would describe myself as painfully shy, but as I got older and began exploring my sexuality (after a long-term vanilla relationship), the pendulum swung… far! It was liberating to discover there was so much more to out there than routine sex positions, techniques, and locations. I now enjoy exploring the polyamory lifestyle and open relationships.
Part of this exploration took me out of my comfort zone with trusted partners… trying new and exciting things in places outside the bedroom was part of that. The possibility of getting caught or just seen by strangers is a great thrill. I almost want to get caught and if someone sees me, that’s fine by me – I hope they like what they see!
Most of my lovers don’t believe me when I say this wasn’t always how I was. I used to only be able to undress with the lights off, ashamed of my body due to being with critical lovers or my own perfectionism. Being older and more confident in who I am as a person and not trying to measure up to any standard has turned me into quite an adventurous woman. I have met men recently who remind me of myself ten years ago, afraid to try anything new or risky, not willing to fuck in a field by the side of the road. I wish them well and move on to partners who take me to new places. I feel like I wasted too much time to slow down in my growth.
Sex in public or in not-so-public places if fun and has helped to build the sexual confidence that has spread to all areas of my life. Of course, this didn’t happen overnight. It took years to extricate myself from a tired relationship and it it took some time to get the hang of online dating , but with the support of friends and the step-by-step progress I could see, things just got better and better. I didn’t own a single sex toy ten years ago, now I have a collection!
I never realized how much a difference sexual compatibility can make. When you know what you want, you seem to attract it!
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