What’s Your Poly Friend Sex Policy?

Do you like when your friends fuck? I mean, friends you introduced to each other? People who would have probably or possibly never have met in the world and gotten together sexually if you hadn’t brought them face to face. Do you care about that kinda stuff?

Some people really don’t like their friends hooking up. Which is why there are a WHOLE lot of random sayings that speak to such a concept, or actually speak against such a concept, like one I particularly don’t like and NEVER speak out loud, but I will write it here because it is spoken by some humans: “Bros before hoes” (Yuck! I want to wipe my keyboard just for typing that.) It’s basically a bro code that means “friends before women.”

There are lots of other sayings and unspoken rules that many people live by that speak to such boundaries. “Yo, don’t fuck my ex-girlfriend or ex-boyfriend” is certainly a sentiment that a lot of people lived by in high school, and beyond. And honestly, how many people change that mentality throughout their entire lives?

How many people do you know who would be cool with a friend having a sexual relationship with their EX-WIFE or EX-HUSBAND? I’m not saying it can’t exist or doesn’t exist, but I am saying it’s rare as hell. One example that comes to mind in heterosexual relationships is Demi Moore remaining friends with Bruce Willis after their divorce, and getting together with Ashton Kutcher. From what you read and saw in photos, they were all friends even after the divorce. Now that’s progress!

How many polyamorous people do you know who encourage you to have the same kind of freedoms and joys with their friends, not just your own? In my experience, it’s not that common. There is a certain level of self-focus, self-preservation, and competition-minimizing that happens in a fundamental foundation of a lot of sexuality.

Even in some poly relationships, there are people who only care about their primary partners, and not too much about their partner’s partners. A don’t-ask-don’t-tell policy exists in most bedrooms around the world, and even in some so-called open relationships. Of course, there are many levels of discretion in polyamory that people abide by.

I don’t roll that way and never have, but it can work. And when people are having sex with their friends and friends of friends, poly or not, I know that it’s sometimes smarter to keep things on the hush.

People who aren’t good with honesty and communication are not the people you can expect to be forthcoming about their darkest sexual secrets and desires, much less their basic emotional needs and wants.

Now if one of those needs and wants is “I want to fuck my best friend’s girlfriend,” what kind of a best friend are you if you want to possibly see that happen?!? I have been that kind of a best friend. More than once. On a variety of levels.

Two of my ex-lovers married two great guy friends, and this was after the guys knew that I had been lovers with these women. Things didn’t start off so deep and weren’t intended to be monogamous, but there was a lot of open discussions between us when the foundation of the friends-who-have-fucked-each-other platform was built. Sometimes things move in a a slightly unexpected, yet joyous direction!

Imagine if Friends was an orgy between all its cast members? That’s how life’s best potential is felt, touched, and fucked sometimes!

Friends don’t let friends have bad sex!

Looking for lovers who aren’t friends? Check out Couples Dating Sites: Find a Couple or Third.

Adhimu Stewart

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