Guys: It’s OK to be Bi-Curious!

In Poly and Swinger communities, there’s a slightly homophobic saying, which was popularized by a funny skit with Justin Timberlake and Lady Gaga on Saturday Night Live: “It’s not gay if it’s in a three-way.” Well guess what, if you’re crossing swords with another dude, it’s ok to be a little gay!

John is a popular bi guy on who likes planning threesomes with his girlfriend. “When we were first looking for men for MMF threesomes, it was a little nerve wracking because we never knew if the guy would also be into playing with me.” He went on, “When we do find another bi guy who we like, we hold onto him like a precious jewel.”

Tom, a member outreach coordinator at, told us, “There can be a stigma against bisexual guys in many swinger and polyamorous groups, while at the same time an expectation that women swing both ways. It’s a bit like a double standard which can make bi guys feel shy about acting out their desires. My recommendation is always: just ask. Nothing bad can happen from just asking!”

If you’re a poly dude who wants to experiment, don’t hesitate! It’s all part of the fun. Try making out with your guy pal instead of high fiving, AKA Eiffel towering, while having an mmf threesome or other group sex. Swapping tongues while feeling some stubble might be a new experience, but give a go, try it on and see how it feels. If you’re comfortable with that, try stroking his cock and her pussy at the same time. Giving pleasure to your lovers feels great no matter who it is directed towards. If you’re feeling extremely adventurous, you could even try giving a blow job! Of course, you have to make sure they’re also into guy-on-guy action beforehand.

If you’re in the Chicago area, there is a monthly swinger party called Private Encounters, which is a 100% bisexual event, even the guys! It was founded by Tim and Karen, two swingers who were disappointed by how much their poly dating options dropped off, once they told people Tim was bisexual. They knew they couldn’t be the only polys feeling this frustration, so they started their own party just for bi people!

Read: 7 Rules for Group Sex Encounters

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