I’ve had many partners with children, of all ages, and I can happily say that I’ve managed and navigated these relationships with maturity, openness, communication, compassion, and compromise.
I don’t suggest it for everyone, as a person really needs to NOT be jealous to have a polyamorous relationship with someone who might have emotional or physical connections that take precedence and priority over yours in certain circumstances, but that’s no reason to miss out on some of the most amazing situations you can maturely find yourself in, in the world of relationships and modern connections.
So I’ve collected a few pieces of wisdom from my relationships with women who have children. I know men and trans people who have had children as well, and I have actually made an award-winning porn with a trans person who has children, so this advice applies to many people.
But most of my experience is with single women who have children, and a libido that just won’t be denied, and I am happy to find a place and time in my life for us to unite and do what feels right! There’s a time when kids go to bed, or kids are at school, or kids are at the other parent’s house, and there is a FEW GOOD HOURS to mess around!
5 Tips for Dating Women with Children
1. Respect Their Time with Their Children
It will depend on the child’s or children’s age when it comes to how much free time someone you are dating has. You may not meet many women dating with a child under one, because they have no time! Helping out is great, but I haven’t been with someone who is that new to parenthood.
As children grown, there becomes the occasional afternoon or evening free, where they can get a babysitter, a friend or family member to take care of the child, and you can go out on dates or have sexy time with them. But no matter what: respect their time with their kids!
2. Help Out when You’re Available
Maybe they need you to pick something up at the drug store for them or their child. Maybe they need you to drop something off at the post office. Maybe they need you to be there emotionally when their other parent drops the ball on something and they’ve had a horrible day! There are a number of things you can do to show support and consideration for your poly partners.
I’m not saying you have to babysit, or be a surrogate parent, but there are ways you can help and be a “silent partner” to your partner and their scenario.
Read: 4 Ways to Offer Support in Polyamory Relationships
3. Prepare for Dates and Random Rendezvous
When you are the focus: AMPLIFY the time you have! When you are able to do that good stuff with them, take them out to dinner, go to parks, make plans because they probably don’t have the time.
Have sex as much as you can, when you can. Watch all the shows you can watch together. Have quickies in the afternoon if that’s all you can manage. Have a night of hard passion if you get a babysitter to take care of the kids. Be flexible and open minded to whatever you can do with your partner, and you will have continuous adventures to look forward to!
Read: Sexy Date Ideas for Poly Lovers
4. Be Discreet when Privacy Needs to be Maintained
But don’t go blabbing to your besties about your new awesome situation with this sexy-ass MILF you’re getting down with this summer! There’s nothing more relationship-destroying than ruining the privacy that a single parent has to live beneath to maintain their situation in this society, with the status quo consensus of so many unrelated individuals lingering around and on the internet and what not.
This person does NOT need their neighbors or your friends or anyone on Facebook saying, “Hey, you know who’s fucking so-and-so’s mom? THIS guy!” and point at your Tinder profile. Nah, that’s not how we do. So please do your best to keep a zipped lip about your relations with mothers and fathers. They have enough going on that they don’t need their business all out in the streets.
Read: How to Practice Ethical Non-Monogamy
5. Enjoy the Benefits a Mature Relationship Brings
Sometimes, she has no time to waste on trivialities, small talk, traditions, or third date stuff. If certain people have made up their mind to have sex when they can, while their kids are away, then BOOM, you could be the lucky contestant, and they will make you have a day you will not forget any time soon!
You might be the beneficiary of some great home cooking, intense naughty sex, roleplay, or much appreciated relief. Polyamory can be a wonderful fit for courageous folks who feel no compunction in following typical matrimonial standards of carnal conduct. MILFs and DILFs need love too! So provide it, and watch your life become a celebration!
Read: The Surprising Benefits of Polyamorous Parenting
Happy Sexy Day,
Addi “Malcolm Lovejoy” Stewart
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