Polyamory requires maturity. People CAN’T have grand expectations, even though grand manifestations are very much possible, if created with care! People need to trust that their expressed feelings will lead to the genuine truth; they need to trust that the recipient of these emotions will respond with respect. If they’re interested, they can say so; if they’re not, they can say so.
If you both share the same intentions of intimacy, then the door has been opened and the key has been turned! The lock will be unlocked, and the way forward will be felt available. It’s like basic chemistry: if you light the wick of a dynamite stick, the wick WILL burn, and if it’s connected to an active stick, it WILL burn until it reaches the dynamite, and the dynamite WILL blow up!
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If nobody confesses their feelings for others, then nobody knows how anyone really feels, and no one will behave accordingly, or adjust their behaviour to reply appropriately to someone’s tantalizing request to kiss, hug, or cuddle with you.
Confessions are the cornerstone of polyamory!
One does not feel anything new unless they confess their feelings to people who may or may NOT be polyamorous or interested in open relationships. That’s a risk that one has to take. Has to. THEY MUST TAKE THIS RISK! Love does not happen by itself. It takes two. It takes truth. It takes moves. It takes YOU.
The price of playtime is the cost of courage. It doesn’t matter if the person you are crushing on is poly or not. They may try it for the first time ever with you! I have introduced many people to polyamory, and even if they didn’t branch out their love roots, they were okay with me having other lovers while remaining solo polyamorists.
I confess my feelings to EVERYONE I possibly can!
Any woman that I have ANY strong feelings for, that last more than a few minutes, I immediately calculate the quantity of said feelings, and I quickly confess them to her at the most natural and logical moment. I don’t have ANY expectations when I confess my feelings, either. The only thing I expect to do is liberate the emotion in my soul from the secret spot it has been burrowing and building in. I just tell them how I feel with no strings attached.
They can react positively, negatively, or neutrally, and I will not have my feelings changed by their reaction. If they feel the same, then we can choose to create a sexual relationship, or if they don’t feel the same, then we can continue being friends. Either way I will feel comfortable because I was able to clear my heart and mind from being burdened by my desires and hopes and dreams.
Confession is catharsis!
If you express your feelings without pressure or expectation on them, they usually are met with equally honest emotions. Confession often inspires a reflection of confession.
And you get to find out if it’s your lucky day!
In love,
Addi Stewart
Also read: How to Manage Expectations in Polyamory Relationships
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