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Polyamory Experience Points: A Game of Love

Gaming Couple

You know how when you play The Legend of Zelda, or any role-playing game, there is a system of levels for a character’s abilities and skills? This system is known as the “experience points” system. And it’s a concept that could be applied helpfully to polyamory! Especially seeing as how in polyamory, there is no way to know how amateur or advanced a person is with the concept of multiple loversAnd since this is something that is not taught, encouraged, promoted, shared or seen much in this society, trying to calculate it is semi-logical!

See, in the video games: no matter what you do, if it’s a tangible action that has a measurable result, you are given experience points for it. Sometimes, it’s a simple rote task that a player has to complete over and over. Sometimes, it’s a destination one has to reach first. It can be saving up for a particular item. It can be fighting a particular animal, beast or enemy until you are strong enough to move past it. It could be searching for the right token or item to expand one’s repertoire enough to utilize something else in it, and advance ahead.

The bottom line is that it takes ACTION and INTENTION to make a player gain experience points, and grow in one’s journey. And with repeated dedication, commitment, focus and a clear goal chosen, a player gets bigger and better at doing what they do in the game. The more experience points one accumulates, the more power and fun one can have in the game of adventure! It parallels to love, obviously.

But the other thing that we must keep in mind, is: what happens when we cross paths with players that are of much more experience than us? It usually can lead to a few things: a totally unfair imbalance of attributes, a totally uneven fight if combat and conflict is chosen, or one person exploiting the other for experience points, whether the older takes from the younger or vice versa. Or it can lead to a healthy and harmonious exchange of information, wisdom, tools, skills, traits and benefits that each gains from.

What does happen depends on the intentions and the actions chosen by the people playing. And there is no judgement of why and how experience is shared.

Someone may be wanting to be a victim of someone of older experience, just so they know how to not have it happen to them when it’s time.

Someone may be wanting to offer themselves to someone of a different level to explore the experience of interacting with someone like so.

Someone may be wanting to trap and exploit someone of higher experience to learn what it’s like to attempt to engage with a higher force.

There are so many reasons and possibilities involved in the intentions of interaction in the game of life and love that all of us humans play!

So, unfortunately, there is no way to calculate someone’s polyamory experience points.

The amount of partners they’ve had? The amount of sex clubs they’ve been to? The amount of people they’ve kissed? The number of first dates they’ve been on? The number of orgies and blowjobs and trans/gay/lesbian men and women they’ve been with?

All of these things accumulate experience points in the adventure of life, and everyone you meet in the poly world will have different numbers.

But that’s the fun of playing together! One poly person’s rookie status will be another poly person’s advanced sexuality, and one person’s next level will be another person’s nothing!

As long as you play nice, it’s all good.

Have fun with everyone you get love experience points from, whether they are on Level 1 or Level 100!

In love,
Addi Stewart

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