Stories

Staying Friends with Poly Exes

Group of Friends at a Bar

There’s a funny meme going around (there always is, but this one is a sexy meme that I can twist, heh heh.) It reads: “So imagine one day you come home, and ALL your exes are sitting on your front porch, waiting for you. What would you say or do?!” Most responses are some variation of “Run for the hills!” “Blow it up!” or just “Fuck that!”

I never saw anyone say what I was thinking: LET’S HAVE AN ORGY! I’m really not on bad terms with most of my exes. I don’t even think of them as exes in the way that they are exed out of my present life and sexual possibilities. They are my friends and colleagues! They may come back into my life at any point for any reason, and I’m okay with that, as are they.

All this relates to something that happened recently. I was at my art gallery exhibit, and one of my lovers came through to hang out with me and talk. So we were sitting on two chairs, holding hands and sometimes kissing, sharing food and drink. It was cute, you should have been there.

About a half hour later, another one of my lovers came in to see the exhibit. And I didn’t know she was coming in, but the wonderful thing is that both of them are in a place with me where they definitely are not jealous of each other (they had met before at a birthday party of mine) and were people I’ve seen with other partners as well.

So the scene—me in a room with two of my lovers from the past and present—was totally cool. It was interesting and organic, not planned or awkward, and not selfish on anyone’s part. I kissed both of them, and hugged both of them, and cuddled both of them. There was not a single moment of conflict, friction, or mistrust between anyone. And we all walked together to the streetcar stop after leaving.

We shared space together on the streetcar, and after I kissed them both goodbye and got off first, my last sight for the day was the wonderful vision of seeing both my friendly lovers sitting side by side as I went home. They were friends separate from my connection to them, and it was healthy and wonderful for all of us to participate in.

I definitely can NOT relate to that meme about being afraid of exes all meeting up! Because that kinda happens to me all the time… and it’s AWESOME.

Should Your Poly Partners Meet?

Yay!
Addi Stewart

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