Tips & Advice

Should Your Polyamory Partners Meet?

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There’s something I live and die by in polyamory, and having as many partners as I do, this rule is something I NEVER break for nothing and nobody. I do NOT force any of your poly partners to meet each other.

I wish they would all want to meet. I have time to make the connections happen. I have reasons why I think it would be cool for them to know each other, but I do not ever force it. It could be disastrous on many levels—potentially end some relationships—and that’s not worth the temporary little ego boost or whatever kinda rush or pleasure I would get from introducing partners who don’t really want to spend time together.

They are not being forced to do anything sexual, and any kind of friendship that might happen between my lovers should be something they decide to do on their own, I feel. Do you agree?

I had a recent experience that was pleasant. I was with one lover at Naked Sauna, the infamous place I go to chill sometimes, and lo and behold, another lover was there who I had sex with in the same darn house two weeks earlier.

I didn’t flip out when they saw each other. I simply introduced my lovers by name and said, “You both are important people to me, so I’m glad you finally met.” They hugged, said hello respectfully, and we all went along our merry ways.

A few hours later, I said to my lover guest, “Hey, you know that person I introduced you to? That was a lover of mine.” And she said,”Wow, that’s cool. I didn’t even feel weird meeting her.” And I said, “Cool.”

I was hoping that was the outcome, and it was! I didn’t control the situation, or force anything. I just let it happen naturally. And if it happens again, I’m going to continue letting the natural flow of events take their course, and who knows what will happen next…

I DID have threesomes and more there before! Ha ha.

Addi Stewart

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