Stories

Sharing Life’s Big Moments with Multiple Partners

Couple Toasting Wine

Who do you choose to spend your big occasions with? I’m not talking birthdays, but if the person you’re with was open to celebrating their birthday with your lovers as well as their lovers, then that sounds like it could be a super awesome intimate party, methinks! I know that I’d be able to enjoy a party where my lovers’ lovers were, but I know that not everyone is THAT open to sharing moments like this. It gets complicated!

Obviously a birthday is spent with the person whose birthday it is, but what about other celebrations throughout the year? Who do you spend your big moments with? There’s the few obvious occasions, like New Year’s Eve and holidays (if you celebrate), but there’s other big events that could mean a lot in some partners’ lives—graduations, poly commitment ceremonies, births, performances—and less in others’.

I have a partner who is RAVENOUS about celebrating Halloween every October, and it’s the highlight of the year for her. We’ve done some fun things on that day, including my first tag-team costume, and it’s been great sharing her most cherished day of the year. I don’t go as all out as she does for Halloween, but I do indulge, and participate in various events during the year when it matters most to me.

I like Summer Solstice events and dances involving moons and good weather and such, and I have been known to show up to events like that with the full intention of giving my all to my lover and to the other elements present. I have had a number of lovers who celebrate an interesting variety of events during the year, and I have to give a shout out to a special redhead angel who lived in my heart for many moons before she moved away.

Her and I shared the most magnificent St. Patrick’s Day drinking-and-partying celebration. I remember the ever-flowing drinks, the loud bar we laughed so heartily in, and the electric connection we shared so easily and purely. Now, I think about her every St. Patrick’s Day.

And then there’s lovers whose birthdays are right around Mother’s Day, which is when MY mom’s birthday is! So every year, I have two of the most important lovers I’ve ever been with have birthdays land right on Mother’s Day or around that time, which is when my mom also needs to be sent a greeting and a warm feeling.

It’s different for every partner and poly relationship, but some people are there for the celebrations and the parties, and some are there for other events in your life. The big moments couldn’t happen without the little moments, and vice versa.

Whether it’s the lover you spend every Friday night binge watching your favorite shows, or the lover you like to have on your arm when you’re dressed to the nines and going out for Valentine’s Day, it’s good to have clear boundaries and understandings on who you can share what with!

Cheers and congratulations to lovers and others, all year long!

What events or celebrations do you share with your poly partner(s)?

Sincerely,
Addi Stewart

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