Stories

Quelling Fears and Insecurities of Poly Lovers

Couple in Love in Bed

I am a blessed, lucky, gifted human being in the realm of love and sex. I have multiple lovers, and I am not dealing with bouts of jealousy or insecurity. For the most part, but there was this one time…

One of my lovers said that another was trying to take time away from us. And the lover saying this was the lover who I spent the most time with in my life. So really, I had to disagree with her. I did have something very special with the other partner she was protecting her emotions against, and I respected and heard her concerns, but I had to say that it wasn’t true—my other lover wasn’t trying to take any time away from any relationship.

As a poly person for over twenty years, I was certain that I wasn’t going to fall for any of those shenanigans from a manipulator or an exploiter.

I spoke to both lovers and let them know about the situation, and prepared some emotional safety precautions to help each of them gain the protection to keep both relationships steady as things move forward.

Even though these worries were not based in fact, people have fears and insecurities that should be shared. Communication and honesty are key to quell them.

With love and care,
Addi Stewart

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