Poly Relationships

How to Manage Doubt, Fear and Insecurity in the Polysphere

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If Polyamory was Superman or Supergirl, what would be our Kryptonite? It wouldn’t be cheating, because hey, we are impervious to bullets, ha ha. Technically we wouldn’t be able to feel the pain of another sexual scenario unfolding without our explicit consent.

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So yeah, cheating, lying, mind games, playing the field… all nothing to a Kryptonian Superforce of Nature! But if there was one thing that would weaken our magical Kal-El-like powers, I would say it would be one thing: Insecurity.

When we are not sure that the love we’re living with is pure and sacred and holy, then we may have the best love we are ever possibly going to experience… but we are tainting it with doubt, fear and insecurity from our own heart and soul, and we are possibly poisoning the most healthy energy that can exist in a human life!

It’s not a good thing, and it happens to the best of people. I’ve spoken to gorgeous women who stop traffic and cause men to walk into poles, and yet… when she gets home, she’s like “I will always be single, and I look like shit, and I am disgusted with myself!” And this may all be true inside her, but outside her may be a totally different reality and fantasy. It’s funny, but it’s ugly and it’s really really real.

Our self-esteem is maybe the strongest muscle to flex when trying to carry more than one relationship. It’s the Superman and Supergirl Love Muscle. It’s being able to sustain and support and carry any other human in your arms when dreams want to fly.

And Superman and Supergirl could carry anyone or anything! Rocketship half-exploded, school bus full of almost-drowned kids, a cat in a tree, a Lois Lane that just fell off the roof of the Daily Planet… anything or anyone.

There was no insecurity eating away at Superman’s natural abilities and powers, and there was no self-doubt crippling Supergirl when it came to fighting villains in Metropolis. She was not Superman, but she was still from Krypton!

Polyamory can take any shape and any form with any person. There’s not one single way to do it, so any of us can assume the role of Superman or Supergirl without sexual essence!

Be wary and cautious of creating the one major weapon that can cripple us all from the inside of our heart: self-doubt, lack of belief in ourselves and our relationships, and insecurity with our lovers being with other lovers, like we are not good enough.

This is Kryptonite to a polyamorous Superman, and you deserve to escape the jealous tyranny of a Lex Luthor!

*cue theme music*

In Love,
Addi Stewart

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