Polyamory Breakups: Now but Not Forever

Some loves last a lifetime. We don’t know what our lifetime will look like when we are in it, but a lifetime means chapters and chapters of a very long book.

If there is real pure love at the seed of a relationship, I believe the door can stay open forever, and there can always be potential for sharing each other. I had a lover who was my primary poly partner for a good year and a half, and we did a lot of magical things together.

Still, we went through a few ups and downs but mostly ups, yet it came to an abrupt end last summer when I came back from Jamaica. We both said we were going to work on our relationship together when I returned from a five-day vacation.

But when I went to speak to her, she had feelings that I never anticipated, and I was dropped with the biggest bombshell: total breakup.

The love seed we had planted had very deep roots. I had met her parents, went on a vacation together, filmed lots of porn together, helped her with her college assignments, and listened to her share her trauma struggles (nobody else had ever heard them at the time.) What I thought was going to be worked on was something that she gave up on… for the time being.

Four months after the bombshell, she reached out, and we spoke as peacefully as we could. There was desire there, but there was broken pain to heal too. We both knew we wanted to be friends at least, and we said we would try. But once we were hanging out as friends a few months later, the friendship barrier began to BURN DOWN QUICK!

I had no idea, but she let me know in no uncertain terms that she was interested in being more than friends once again, and I was very shocked by this. I thought we’d be platonic partners for quite some time before things might even be spoken about being intimate again. But NOPE!

The seed burst out a new branch so very fast, I didn’t even see it growing. A new book, a new sequel, and a new first chapter was being written faster than I could open my heart’s eyes to it, and I just had to take in the new story being told.

Lo and behold, she’s about to move overseas. But I don’t think this is the end of our relationship. We have a connection that will always be special and meaningful, and I know that we will always care about each other in ways that can’t be contained by time and space.

I believe certain poly memories and moments will always resonate in your essence, and the people that make these experiences exist are also a part of your essence.

I feel like I can never be too mad at them or never feel like they are too far away, no matter what the circumstances. So, I’m about to have a last chapter moment with this lover, but that last chapter only applies to this book we are currently writing.

We have spoken about a desire to reconnect in the future, and I have all the faith in the world that the intention is genuine. For my particular type of polyamory, there are no final goodbyes! Only see you later, sweet lover.

Addi Stewart

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