Communication and Patience in Poly Relationships

This is a sad story that has a happy ending.

I had a lover from out of town who I hadn’t seen in almost two months. We made plans on Halloween to go to Impulse and get kinky in the dungeon (again, woo-hoo! The last Impulse was marvelous!)

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I got ready, she got ready, we texted each other all the details—the time and place and intentions and energy we felt.

Long distance meant nothing, when the passion was as strong as it is between us, and the communication is as crystal clear as it kept being.

We have been together for over six months, and we have never lived in the same city. It never mattered, because the connection is strong.

Sometimes, things didn’t work out when she came to visit, but she would let me know what happened the same day. She was great that way.

Shit happens, and as long as the love plumber comes along to flush it and plunge it, then the bathroom gets clean for the next time you poop!

Love can overcome almost anything. The expression of love is the bonding agent that makes things work out when things stop working.

So, last time we had plans, I was happy. I wrote her name in the schedule of lovers I keep. I wasn’t gonna let this time slide by again, no way!

We set up plans to hang on a Friday night. I cleaned up my crib so she could sleep over. I got food and other party favors for us. Ready to go.

So I talked to her on Friday evening when she got in town. I was excited, she was hyper. She told me where she was going. I was like okay.

But then, I had some shitty shit happen to me a few hours before I was supposed to meet up with her. So I sent her a message saying so.

I was like “I don’t think I can come out and dance, but I’m still totally craving to spend time with you tonight. Are you going to sleep over here?”

And then… I didn’t hear anything.

I sent one more message a few hours later, before the night was done: “You can still sleep over here if you want, lover. See you.”


I was extra bummed. But since the day was already shite, I didn’t mind the extra sleep time. Good night cruel world. See you in the morning.

When I woke up on Saturday, I got a couple messages from her at noon. She said “I’m sorry! A friend came into town by surprise and we got mashed up together. I didn’t mean to disappear on you, I’m so sorry. If you’re available, then please let’s get together before tonight. Cool?”

It was very cool with me.

Our communication was so consistent, the moment that it wasn’t, it threw me off. But the love was also so consistent, I had faith in our future!

And the very next day, she came by, exactly when she said… and the moment she got to the door, we started kissing passionately… and the lovemaking started very very soon after!

Communication is damn near everything in poly problem solving. If you speak enough truth, everything gets solved.

We went to go eat, converse all night, then came back home and made passionate love again!!! And the day ended happily ever after.

In eternal love and truth,
Addi Stewart

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