Adventures Outside the Home Playground
I’m curious: Have you ever travelled with a poly partner?
It’s different than going on vacation with a monogamous partner, in quite a few subtle but serious ways!
First, maybe the best way to describe what the relationship may default into on a vacation is a friends-with-VIP-benefits situation. As you may be travelling together, but obviously if you are practicing polyamory, anyone may find themselves interested and involved in a brand new situation while in a brand new location! And once that emotional/physical/verbal boundary is negotiated, then who knows what kind of vacation one may have in store. The possibilities are endless, thank goodness.
Furthermore, there has to be fair and balanced negotiation of sexual engagement with one’s poly partner, no matter where you are journeying. Just because you’re not at home in your comfortable routine and regular environment with that familiar partner is not a reason to believe you can behave and operate with the same assumptions about the relationship’s sexual possibilities. You still have to ask and approach each scenario with a brand new perspective on the potential, and see where each moment takes things. It may be the exact same good sex you have at home, just out on the road, which is wonderful! But you have to take responsibility for structuring that possibility with your poly partner(s).
And thankfully, there is always open space to communicate when you are travelling with a poly partner, because there is often much time where there is nothing to do but spend silent moments together, in a car/train/bus/plane and just get to know each other better. This is the perfect time to get acquainted with the microscopic details of your evolving relationship, and check in with your polyamorous adventurer, to see if they are on the same physical/mental/emotional page as you. They may be taking the vacation to escape some emotional situation back home, and might need a moment or a day or a few to disconnect and de-stress from some heartbreak, and your desires to connect sexually or on some other level may not be what your poly partner wants to share with you at this moment… find out.
Once you gently but firmly achieve balance between communication and connection while out of your normal personal patterns, you and your poly partners can explore all kinds of new terrain, both emotional, physical, terrestrial, and intellectual! Having new sex in new places and cooking each other new meals while enjoying new conversations is a magnificent choice to make for one’s self and one’s partners.
The best thing about it, is that you can have your cake and eat it too, and then come home and have some more dessert if you share your spirit in a healthy way while on vacation! I hope you get to experience being outside of your city or country with a polyamorous partner (or partners, plus the amazing new people you meet and possibly get to play with) who helps you experience possibilities of joy you have never known before. Never stop dreaming of unique ways to expand your relationships!
In Love,
Addi Stewart
Tell us what you think