Poly Relationships

How Comfortable Are You Hearing about Your Partners’ Partners?

Woman Leaving Man in Bed

This is not a drill. This is not a test. This is not a trick! This is a measurement of truth and reality. How much truthful fact and actual reality are you able to absorb from the mouths of your other polyamorous lovers?

Can you take the whole Jack Nicholson? Or are you only able to handle a partial Tom Cruise? Some people are like Jack and they can handle the truth. I am like Jack Nicholson in A Few Good Men (except for the military misconduct and violent shit).

I can handle everything a partner of mine wants to share with me. Every single emotional nuance. Every detail about their partner’s body, habits, and sexual methods. Every description of their dates and fun times together. Why can I do this? Because I practice COMPERSION, that’s why! This is how compersion is flexed, exercised, and put to work.

I have been gifted the blissful experience of meeting a new lover recently, and we have been flying like gangbusters. We have been fucking like Catholic rabbits, and we have been learning each other’s minds and bodies faster than most—it’s a blessing and a half.

She said, “I have other partners” upon the first fifteen minutes of meeting, and with the flirty friendly and forward final greeting we shared when we first met, I had strong hopes that she was interested in me as much as I was in her.

Next time we met, I got the confirmation in no uncertain, sexually accepting terms that she was into me. She has other partners in her life, and so do I! I told her, “I just want to be one of the many lovers in your world. I don’t want to be exclusive, I don’t want to control you. I just want to give you my love!” And she was very receptive to this concept.

The next day I saw her, she said, “This is what happened with my one partner last night, it was so wild…” I was happily surprised she shared such information with me so early in our relationship. It was a sign of real trust, far more than it was a potential test for me to pass or fail. I had no jealousy or envy towards her partners before, so why would any more details being revealed ruin anything. They need not because I am mature, respectful, and compassionate.

This poly, open-minded, friendly, loving identity isn’t just for shits and giggles and likes on the internet, either.

She told me about sleeping over at a guy’s house, she told me about going on a date with another partner, and she added on a story about crossing paths with another partner of hers at work. I felt not a drop of insecurity because her and I have been building a foundation of fresh passion and full power exchange and enlightenment.

She gets me, and I get her. And no one can get in the way of that as far as I’m concerned. So even when we were on a date, and she told me it needed to end soon so she could go on a date with her lady friend, I was ecstatic and inspired by how much we could share.

I know more about her and her partners in the first two weeks of us being together than most people share in six months or more! We really are living the poly dream and not letting anyone or anything get in the way of trusting each other and giving each other space. And me hearing about her four partners and her hearing about my seven partners has done nothing but make us appreciate each other more and crave each other more!

It’s funny how that works, sometimes, just telling the entire, naked, rainbow, poly truth. It’s not a game. It’s just the best way to know how secure you are in the relationship!

Trust is glue,
Addi Stewart

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