After a year and a half of poly success, my partners and I found ourselves growing closer. It wasn’t a surprise to any of us when we started to think about what it might be like to live together as one big happy polycule.
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The conversation started over breakfast one morning, at a cottage we had rented together for a month. Wouldn’t it be lovely to have this kind of experience every day? Talking openly with one another over coffee? Feeling totally supported and excited about the future?
That’s when we really started to think about the different options available to us. There seemed to be so many (or at least more than are commonly considered in monogamous relationships) and each of them came with their unique sets of pros and cons. I hope that our list might be of help to you and your partners.
Pros and Cons of Poly Living Arrangements
Separate housing. Each partner lives alone in his or her separate home, or two partners share a home while others live alone.
- Complete privacy when you need it
- Total freedom with regards to neighborhood choice and personal style
- No moving expense (provided this is your existing arrangement)
- A possible sense of isolation from your partner(s) and metamour(s)
- The added cost of maintaining more than one dwelling between the group of you
- Less emotional support from partners on a daily basis
Communal housing as roommates. All members of a polycule live together under one roof, each having their own room but sharing a kitchen, bathroom and living space.
- Cost effective
- Easy to find a suitable dwelling
- No privacy
- Potentially cramped
- Roommate-type conflicts a near certainly
Communal housing with separate suites. Similar to the roommate scenario except that each partner has his or her own apartment or suite within a shared complex. Additional common areas are an option.
- The best of both worlds (privacy and communal living)
- Lots of space to entertain
- Pooled resources
- Lots of upkeep
- Difficult to find a pre-existing building to suit our needs
We have not yet decided on our best course of action and these are just a few of the ideas that crossed our minds. Can you think of any other options for poly cohabitation? If so, leave a comment!
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