The irony in this one goes to a delicious place, word to Marty Ziff and Marge Simpson! Before I stray too far, I’ll just say, it’s not always the case, but generally, our brother Will Smith was right that there’s no need to argue: PARENTS JUST DON’T UNDERSTAND… POLYAMORY.
Some do! Young Willow Smith can be seen on Red Table Talk having a DEEPLY educated conversation with her mother, Jada Pinkett Smith, and absolutely demolishing all obstacles to poly that might have existed in the room at the time.
Will Smith’s parents were definitely less open to ACTUAL polyamory, but were surely more susceptible to clandestine, extra-curricular polyamory aka cheating which is what a lot of our parents did. The divorce rate can attest to that, 50% and rising, thank you very much.
I don’t want to tell anyone what to do, lordy no! Get married, if you want. But I’m just gonna be over here, being poly with all my lovers. It’s nine so far, and I love my life.
I say all this to say: my mom is in town this week! She just passed through from a wedding in the tropics, and it was a whole new experience this time. For starters, she actually met THREE of my lovers, which was a new level of sharing for us. She met all three at different times, for different reasons, and under different circumstances.
They all were introduced to her AS MY LOVER, and she shook their hands and exchanged names. I didn’t have to pretend that they were anyone else, and I didn’t have to lie about our connection—it was AWESOME. She asked a few questions, but for the most part she respected them and understood them enough to let me live!
How do your parents feel about your polyamory? Do they know? Can you ever tell them? Is one of them cool and the other one not? Are they poly, perhaps? Were or are they swingers? Only you know the answers to these questions (and them too, haha). Answering these questions can open the door to all kinds of new possibilities for your communication. It’s one of the most mature things you can discuss with parents.
Do your parents know what you did last summer? LOL. Seriously, do they have an idea about your poly life if you came from a traditional nuclear family arrangement or something similar? How would it go down if you told them you were poly? Or how did it go down? I hope you are in a place where you can let us know.
Lean towards being free more than being afraid, especially in relationships. Adult’s history is rife with fearful choices that lead to bed death and worse. Polyamory is a solution for the evolved!
In poly,
Addi Stewart
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