Tips & Advice

Sex Parties: How Safe Is Necessary?

Man in Bed with Three Women

Never confuse a sexy free-for-all with an anything goes gang-bang. Although the former might allow for the debauchery of a naked puppy pile, the latter could likely end your play-days forever.

Anyone outside our “circle” who’s never experienced group sex might not see a difference, but that’s simply uninformed. Group play can be just as safe as one-on-one — there just happens to be greater numbers in the room. Also, like one-on-one, it’s only as safe as you choose to make it.

If you’re considering throwing your first sex party, consider the following to help set your own threshold:

The Guest List. Know your peeps. Never post an open call. Keep the invite list closed and restricted to playmates you already know and trust. If someone wants to bring a guest of their own, be sure to approve it ahead of time. Sex is more fun when you’re not hung up on having to second guess the source of someone’s cold sore or having to guard your priceless belongings.

The Rules. Before the games get under way, the host should lay out the ground rules. Questions should be answered, uncertainties clarified. Now is the time for people to bolt should they not like what you’re offering. Lock the door, and bar any further admittance after a pre-designated cut-off time.

Condoms. Insist they’re worn at all times or the party’s over. They’re inexpensive enough to ensure a truckload of them is available for all. When a guest says “I don’t wear them, I’m monogamous”, remind them they’re at a sex party. Everyone should follow the same rules.

Oral Sex. Unlike the use of condoms for vaginal and anal sex, oral sex (male or female) often ignites debate. Although it’s not impossible to catch a disease via mouth action, it’s less likely. Personally, that’s where I’m willing to risk a little: a wrapped blowjob is a blowjob I’d just as soon miss, and I’m not interested in going down on a strip of Glad Wrap. But your options are there: suck cock through a condom or eat pussy through a dental dam — you can’t get much safer.

Toys. Share away, all you like! But make it a habit of always wrapping the dildo with a condom. Otherwise bits of everyone who tries it will be shared around the room like potato chips on Superbowl Sunday. Another alternative (if you don’t mind the time involved) is to use stainless steel toys. That way you can keep them unwrapped if you sanitize them between users (my preference, and I think it’s worth the time.)

Sick Germs. These are people you likely already have some sort of relationship with, so insist, if you’re able, on their honesty regarding any current health issues. This includes more than just STDs — you all have a right to avoid anything from the common cold to a stomach flu. There’ll be more parties to come — don’t spoil everyone else’s fun with your germs.

Better still: invite me to all your sex parties and I’ll happily play SexyRulesCop! I promise to spank anyone who gets outta line…

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