Tips & Advice

New Relationship Energy (NRE) vs Solid Connection Energy (SCE)

Couple in Intimate Embrace

Word invention time! I had to do it again. The world is always in need of a new acronym—insight or explanation—of some nuance in modern life and love, because there really isn’t enough emotional intelligence out there to answer and solve all the issues people have in their hearts and souls!

If they did have the solutions, the divorce rate would not be so high and Ashley Madison would not exist. Let me put it like this: I have heard endless stories of the so-called New Relationship Energy fears of other (often younger) lovers from other partners in polyamory. They worry that the fresh hot thang is just gonna uproot everything created in their relationship and that they will have invited in the cause of their own destruction.

It’s a prevalent thought in many situations, but I sincerely think it need not be a threat or issue for one main reason—the new person could be EQUALLY as insecure and worried about the foundation that long-term connections already have in place (and those are emotional time measurements they can never match, no matter what.)

It’s the same old grass-is-always-greener-on-the-other-side shit. I would now like to introduce a new concept to the sexy poly lexicon: Solid Connection Energy (SCE). It’s not just the opposite of New Relationship Energy (NRE). Nah, life ain’t that cut and dried.

NRE is based mostly on the shiny-new-object theory as though the old relationship is somewhat lackluster. But SCE is about the foundation of strength and support and consistency that the new relationship doesn’t have. A one-night stand may be easy on the responsibility factor, but who’s gonna cook you dinner the next night or watch a movie with you? That’s right, the SCE.

Solid Connection Energy, baby! Don’t sleep on it! If it’s you, wear that crown with pride. The dents and scars are a badge of honor. Remember: comparison is the thief of joy.

Go Team SCE! And Go Team NRE! Yay to everyone in the game of love!

Addi Stewart

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