I don’t know the exact numbers, but all the poly people I know have cellphones, and thus, most people have to text to keep the connections going, especially when you have as many lovers as I do, haha.
Well, I’ve got some suggestions for poly texting success! These work for me and my relationships, but these recipes for happiness can be adjusted to your liking and lifestyle. Nothing is set in stone, and what works with one poly partner may not with another.
I don’t know if your boundaries allow such things, or if your desires even seek the same freedoms and responsibilities as I do, but hey, have at it!
6 Texting Tips for Poly Partners
1. Be Patient
Give them an appropriate amount of space and time to respond. Do not expect an instantaneous reply, even if you’ve sent something sexy and alluring. You never know what a person may have going on at any given time, so skip the assumptions, and remember it’s not all about you and where you are.
2. Call for Important Issues
If something IS important and requires priority attention, then let them know clearly in a text, call or ask them to call you. Some issues require a voice-to-voice connection, or better yet, a face-to-face interaction.
3. Communicate at the Right Time
Learn the best times and worst times to text with your partner. If they have a serious 9 to 5 job, don’t text at 11am unless they’re the boss or you have permission to send sexy greetings. People have times during both work and play when they feel most comfortable. Learn them and share your feels!
4. Respect Sexting Boundaries
Establish the proper protocol for NUDE photos. NEVER EVER EVER break the code, the rules, the boundaries. If they tell you to never share their explicit texts, then LISTEN. If they tell you not to show their face on social media, then don’t. Have the conversation about what’s appropriate to share and what is NOT, with all your partners.
NEVER EVER send a dick pic without finding out if your partner is even into that kinda thing! For the love of chivalry and decency, don’t just send pseudo-anonymous dick pics to people you aren’t that close to. Polyamory is no excuse for not honoring personal space!
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5. Double Check before Sending
When you have multiple lovers, you may have multiple conversations going on the same day, at the same time. Do not send a text, or worse, a sext to the wrong partner. It only takes a few seconds, but it IS WORTH the DAYS if not WEEKS of headaches, trust rebuilding and apologies that may follow.
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6. Discuss Discretion
Talk to partners about your feelings in regards to taking sexy videos together. Amateur porn can be fun when everyone involved has the level of trust and discretion he or she requires. Some partners are okay with sharing videos with other lovers in your circle, but first find the common ground you both share on this subject.
So those are my polyamorous texting protocols, and they can include all kinds of delicious memories, memes, videos, messages, pictures, and mini-porn videos that I hold dear. And I’ve NEVER been a guy who has to lock my phone, hide my pictures or screensaver, cover my voice during calls, or any other drama.
Of course there are always things to work on, and sometimes texting just doesn’t capture the connection you want to make… but that’s when you call and say, “Come on over!”
What texting tips can you share? Leave a comment!
One love,
Adhimu Stewart
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