Tips & Advice

4 Places to Meet Kinky Women

Sexy Vixen with a Whip

It’s the age-old question men ask: Where can I meet kinky women, and lots of them?

It might be cliché to say so, but women are everywhere. You meet them all the time. Quite a few of the women you see at the supermarket, library, local softball game, pub, and gym are into bondage, role playing, leather and latex, pony play, cuckolding, threesomes—you name it.

The problem is, of course, how to bring these subjects into casual conversation without getting laughed at, rejected, or arrested!

4 Places to Meet Kinky Women

1. Your Outer Circle

Most women you meet have some mild to moderate kinks, and quite a few take it much further. It’s trickier to line up your kinks and have the poly convo at the same time. Or is it?

Sure, approaching a svelte redhead at Starbucks and asking if she has an open relationship or wears rubber underwear will probably be a giant fail. But there’s no need to gamble on total strangers when your own connections are overflowing with kinky women.

While you probably don’t want to date your girlfriend’s sister, friends of friends of friends offer a million possibilities. If you’re into bondage and discipline, it’s simply a fact that many of your connections share your interests.

2. Kink Workshops or Meetups

Maybe you’re new in town, or new to polyamory or kinky living.

Get to know the local kinky community by attending relevant workshops and meetups. You might find a fetish event at a nightclub, but look for BDSM munches or other social gatherings for polyamorous or kinky people like you.

Find out Everything You Need to Know about BDSM Munches at Kink Lovers.

3. Blind Dates

These are old fashioned and have a reputation for disaster, but I quite like the intrigue and adventure of a set-up. You never know what will happen, and even if that connection doesn’t lead to lasting love or toe-curling orgasms, it’s a learning experience or a bit of fun, and definitely expands the social circles.

The catch is to avoid totally random dates and accept recommendations from friends who really know you. You don’t want a well-meaning buddy setting you up with a cousin they feel sorry for because you’re such a nice guy. But if an ex-girlfriend who you’re on good terms with mentions a woman she thinks you might hit it off with, that’s a bet worth taking.

In the right circumstance, a blind date can be an adventure and mystery that leads to somewhere fun.

4. Niche Online Dating Sites

You can scrap all the possibilities above, really, because far and away the best way to find kinky women is to meet the ones who are looking for you online. There are excellent dating sites for poly people like CouplesDating.com, and many more for kinky folks like BDSMdate.com.

On niche sites you can meet local women into the same fantasies and fetishes. It’s possible to meet kinky women on mainstream sites, but it may take you two or three or more dates to broach the subject, unlike on niche sites where members are more open about their kinks.

You can tailor your profile so that women browsing will know what you’re into, or you can keep things more discreet and chat about those preferences when you start messaging back and forth.

Tell us where you meet kinky women!

Tell us what you think!

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