Facts & Info

Reasons She Might Fake Orgasm

Woman Sexually Satisfied

Monogamous or polyamorous, first time or old married couple, kinky or vanilla—at some point in time, someone, somewhere might fake orgasm.

There are various reasons why women might fake climax, and you should know about them.

She doesn’t know you well enough yet.

During hookups, casual encounters, and early points in a relationship, a woman might not yet feel comfortable communicating her needs and desires or confessing to a lack of orgasm.

It’s personal, and she doesn’t want to go into a lot of detail about how her body works, so she doesn’t.

For myself, I almost always prefer to be up front and candid, and reassure a guy it’ not his fault if he’s wondering. My body simply doesn’t orgasm as easily when I’m with a new partner, even if it’s super hot and I’m sexually satisfied. For those women who don’t feel comfortable sharing this, it might be easier to go through the ending motions.

She doesn’t want to hurt anyone’s feelings.

We don’t blame you when we don’t orgasm, at least not all of the time.

“Sure, I’ve been with selfish men who are just there to gratify themselves,” says my friend Lisa. “But the reality is, most men are eager to please and want to make me come once or twice or more! I know when you’re trying, and you aren’t responsible for how my body responds.”

Lisa says that to save a man the hurt feelings of not making her come, she sometimes fakes it. “This is a white lie. I’m effectively saying I’m enjoying myself and I’m satisfied, and that’s true.”

If we have difficulty coming during a new encounter, or because we’re new to swinging or nervous about group sex encounters, we don’t want to disappoint anyone and might just feign a finish until next time.

She wants to get it over with.

There are times when she fakes it because she’s exhausted from making love to her other partners or from a long night out with the girls. Maybe the sex is hum drum, and she wants to hurry it along. Maybe she was just into a utilitarian fuck tonight, not something long and elaborate. So yes, sometimes we do fake orgasm in order to get back into our clothes or get some shut eye.

It helps her enjoy the experience more.

As the saying goes, fake it until you make it. Some research shows that a woman caterwauling as if she’s about to explode just might be the thing that helps her get there. If we don’t, well, at least we tried.

Tell us what you think!

Inline Feedbacks
View all comments
Polyamory Today logo
Polyamory Today is your source for everything related to polyamory dating and poly relationships. We post tips and advice for polyamorous lovers, open relationships, and those seeking threesomes and group adventures. Enter the world of polyamory with exclusive articles, polls, site reviews, reader stories and more.

Polyamory Magazine
Join over 4,600 polyamorous people who receive Polyamory Today updates every two weeks.

Let's connect.

We share all of our polyamory advice, ideas, and articles on Facebook and Twitter. Follow along on your favorite network to get latest from Polyamory Today Magazine.

Polyamory Today on Facebook Polyamory Today on Twitter