I am so happy that there are a few true blue, unapologetic, top-to-bottom, loud-and-clear, uncompromising, openly polyamorous LOVE songs out there, because lord knows there are far too many cheating tunes, toxic relationship anthems, and horribly unhealthy monogamous love songs on the radio.
Let me share some songs that capture polyamory, non-monogamy, compersion, deconstructing jealousy, and openly celebrating lovers having metamours, and other truths about the poly lifestyle.
Read: Polyamory Is Hard: Truths About Polyamorous Living
Songs about Polyamory
“Can’t Help But Fly” by Climbing PoeTree feat. Be Steadwell and Luqman Frank
This song wholeheartedly embraces the poly way: no jealousy, no creepiness, no slander, no insecurity. There are not enough songs in the world that openly elevate and encourage the idea of polyamory and multiple partners, especially in a way that is consensual and healthy.
From the first breath, there is freedom encouraged, love supported in expanding intimate emotions, reflection on the fact that scheduling is a factor and sharing a necessity, and accepting that if love flows into your hands it’s a blessing, and when love flows out it’s also a blessing.
Read: 3 Ways to Build Intimacy in Poly Relationships
This song is immaculately produced, structured and layered in its vocal stylings and arrangements, PLUS it’s not only celebrating polyamory, but it’s also celebrating lesbian love, which is a super bonus!
Standing ovation from the lovers’ peanut gallery, watching the orgy of joy with confidentiality and compassion abound.
“I can’t fit inside monogamy’s philosophies
Of one and only constantly
Stopping me from boundlessly
Expressing what is possibly”
“In The Middle” by Dodie
This song is SUCH a brilliant way to start a polyamory song, from someone who KNOWS that half our damn life is spent trying to organize our schedules and/or figure out how and where we’re going to meet with our multiple partners.
All kinds of social sandwiches are being made when poly people have conversations about what they potentially try to make happen, and some people are very good about stepping aside and letting others build and support it on the sidelines.
As Dodie cheerfully and cleverly states on this song, she’ll be happily enjoying whatever metamour mess she is diving into from her perspective of it which is happening “in the middle” of two lovers!
Read: 4 Ways to Be a Good Poly Metamour
I beg and plead with you to watch the video to the end. The spoken word piece at the finale has me weeping and sobbing tears of absolute agreement and astonishment in its profundity. She’s right with every word, so eat the cake, please.
“It could be weird but I think I’m into it
You know I’m one for the overly passionate
I like you, and I loved him
We could all be the best kind of friends”
“Compersion, Pt. 1” by Arab Strap
This just might be the first song I’ve ever heard that mentions “fluid bonding” and “unicorns,” but not in the sense of The Last Unicorn, but in the grand tradition of finding the ultimate threesome partner. Also, the pulsing, pounding funk-stomper of a beat is damn near impossible to ignore.
It’s not as unabashedly clear about its polyamorous intentions as “Can’t Help but Fly,” but it’s very clever in its assertion that it doesn’t mind a third party joining the party currently underway.
Read: Finding a Unicorn for You and Your Poly Partner
Also, word on the street is that the members of Arab Strap are over fifty, so that’s another win for polyamory being NOT just a thing for younger folks. Obviously there was some functional form of polyamory in the Swinging Seventies, so yay for these folks continuing The Dream!
“And when we looked for a unicorn,
We found a bride and a blushing groom
We took them out for a cocktail, they took us back to their room”
“Third Wheel” by Set It Off
Sometimes, you feel like a third wheel on a bicycle in polyamory, I’m not gonna lie. Balancing equally and consistently between all relationships is a challenging task that is the unspoken test in all polyamorous relationships.
It’s not about giving everyone equal amounts of attention, it’s about making sure that everyone has the attention they need, including yourself.
Read: How to Put Your Needs First in Your Polycule
Obviously the lead singer of Third Wheel doesn’t feel he is getting enough from his objet d’amour, and even is suggesting harming her new boyfriend which is something I NEVER condone in polyamory.
“Third wheel, try and deal your best hand
You bet I can’t stand every little thing you stand for
A salesman waiting at the door like a filthy whore
I’ll leave you lonely and abandoned, and—”
“Should I Stay or Should I Go” by The Clash
Not all polyamorous relationships are happy or even healthy. And since there are COUNTLESS monogamy songs that celebrate toxicity, here is one that talks about the messiness of relationships and the questions one might have to ask oneself.
It may not be the most healthy poly anthem, but it’s a question that poly people definitely ask themselves because of the nature of our relationships and the uncertainty with adventurous intimacy.
Read: Why Open Relationships Don’t Work (and Why Some Do)
“Darling, you got to let me know
Should I stay or should I go?
If you say that you are mine
I’ll be here ’till the end of time”
I gotta give a shout out to “3 Way” by Teyana Taylor because it’s very proud of its non-monogamous intentions, but it’s PURE sex, ha ha.
And I wanna show love to “3” by Britney Spears, our newly freed homegirl.
Let us know what poly songs you love or what songs make you think of polyamory.
Sincerely yours,
Addi “Malcolm Lovejoy” Stewart
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