Thousands of years ago, things were much different. God was a woman, sex was a form of prayer, and people fucked each other divinely, everywhere. There is an abundance of evidence that details these societies and civilizations that shared each other’s sexuality like this if you don’t believe me, but I’m not interested in arguing hidden history right now. I’d prefer to explore the future history we are creating right now, technologically, sexually and spiritually. And to make parallels that you may not be aware of…
If I may, Tantric teachings tell us: “In the Tantra, the original meaning of yoni (the woman’s entire vulva/clitoris/outer labia/inner labia/urethra/G-spot and vaginal area) was “divine passage”. The yoni is seen as a temple in which the divine essence of a woman, in other words, her soul, can be worshipped. The yoni is a gateway by which we may join with our partner to experience oneness with the God essence or Goddess essence. There is a hard-wired mammalian brain circuit which flips us into alpha states when human beings (particularly men) gaze upon the divine instrument that is the yoni. It is, by nature’s design, the most powerful of yantras…”
Now what does this have to do with your 21st century life, a crazy-ass life with an eternally-beckoning, infinitely-infinite ocean of pornography available on the internet with the click of a few buttons, and to your sex life in particular?
Well, what if you were actually praying to some unknown holy deity every time you masturbated to online images? What if you were actually re-imagining a timeless sex ritual and erotic offering to whatever porn star or sexy celebrity you’re secretly seducing? What if you were not raised to internalize shame, embarrassment, or blame for satisfying your urges to bring yourself to climax while gazing lustfully at another few lucky folks engaging in the horizontal mambo? What would happen next, after you “get off”? Nothing.
Except, you would simply feel GOOD about satisfying your body’s particular needs, and your mind would be awash in thoughts and feelings that bring joy and contentment with the subsequent release of dopamine, oxytocin, norepinephrine, serotonin, vasopressin and prolactin, as well as helping to reduce incidents of prostate cancer (if you’re a man). And to the friendly fingers (or other finger-like objects) assisting women in reaching that possibly-more-elusive blessed moment of orgasm, they all point participants towards a healthy body state – helping to prevent cervical and urinary tract infections, cleansing the cervix, aiding in the decrease of blood pressure… as well as just feeling good, as we’ve already agreed orgasmic (vaginal or clitoral) climaxing does.
Now, why is it “bad” to masturbate, or publicly talk about masturbation or the sex it can lead to? Masturbation is the most widespread manifestation of sexual activity on earth, quiet and hidden as it is kept. And expanding upon the ideas presented by the Tantric approach to all things sexual, even Wikipedia has this to say about masturbation:
“Male masturbation became an even more important image in ancient Egypt. When performed by a god, it could be considered a creative or magical act: the god Atum was believed to have created the universe by masturbating to ejaculation, and the ebb and flow of the Nile was attributed to the frequency of his ejaculations. Egyptian Pharaohs, in response to this, were at one time required to masturbate ceremonially into the Nile.”
Wow. That’s a far cry from the all-prevailing onanistic illegality that North American society’s Roman-Catholicism-tinted judgement caged us within! Now, how did human civilization shift so drastically that the single most important activity to perpetuating life itself, sexual intercourse, and all its multi-faceted, multi-dimensional subcomponents, suddenly become the single most problematic source of sin on the planet? ESPECIALLY in today’s internet era where pornography, sexual imagery, erotic art of every imaginable and unimaginable incarnation can be enjoyed by anyone with a computer and a curiosity to explore what people are doing with each other?
Masturbation and internet pornography are considered wrong because they are a form of fantasy polyamory.
For all the men and women out there in standard monogamous relationships, engagements, and marriages: if this desire and practice is not addressed holistically and honestly, then there’s a very good chance that masturbation and its inherent other-lover fantasies can build a barrier of enmity, unbalance, distance, and maybe even separation. Many a relationship has been strained, if not permanently damaged, by pornography use and abuse; and like all excessive practices and habits in life, it can be damaging to the body and mind. But there is an subconscious emotional connection a person develops to their pornographic experience, and it’s manifested in the pleasure one feels by participating in masturbation.
Since the beginning of time, people have masturbated and self-satisfied their body parts in a countless variety of ways.
Before the internet arrived, traditional mainstream religions in society did a fantastically thorough job of instilling unfathomable amounts of guilt, stigma, degradation, and remorse in anyone who was engaging in pre-marital sex, admitting to lustful desires, or practising natural masturbation. But no matter how many god-fearing threats of going blind, growing hairy palms, or becoming a pariah were decreed by “pure” saints, nuns and pastors, and any other puritanical authority figure in society: the orgasms NEVER stopped coming. Masturbatory images have been documented as far back as the Tantric temples of India and beyond. And in the last century, videotapes and magazines became multi-billion dollar businesses and ushered in the VCR/home video era of the 1980’s and 90’s. And then, the internet happened. Pornography jumped from Playboy and Penthouse to online websites and video channels… and the world never experienced sex the same way ever again.
Why do so many men, women, trans, and other people, look at so much fucking internet pornography every day now? There are many reasons we could delve into, but one of them I’d like to contribute is not the typical thought. Check it:
“In Tantra, a person can become enlightened just by gazing at the yoni. There are tantric rituals in which a person gazes at but does not touch the yoni.” – sexual healer Mike Lousada, Vagina: A New Biography by Naomi Wolf
What if we were all subconsciously practising a form of goddess worship when we masturbate, regardless of the website we were receiving our cherished gift of sexual creativity from. Could it be that we’re hard-wired to desire watching many others humans achieve the ecstacy of orgasmic union, no matter how severely the shame police have charged us with a spiritual crime against humanity? Is the endless possibility of sexual pseudo-connections given to a voyeuristic worshipper one of the main reasons why Christianity frowns upon people watching other people fuck their way to paradise on planet earth? I believe it is so very possible.
If nobody in this world ever told you that sex, masturbation, or lust was bad or evil or wrong, and one day in your life, you accidentally discovered that you could give yourself an orgasm by gently playing with your genitalia, what would you do? Probably just keep playing with yourself, and with others, a whole lot more! Why would you ever stop if you KNEW it was genuinely good for you?
What if instead of someone telling you that sex is a sin (even though it was the act of your parents having sex that gave you life in the first place), someone told you that sex is the most sacred way to worship the deepest truths in someone you want to make love to in life?
If someone taught you that sex was a holy act of mind, body and soul communion, and that experiencing shameless joy was the eternal truth and goal in love, lust, desire, pornography, nudity, ejaculation and masturbation: what would it be like the next time you had sex?
It would probably feel like heaven… or some place even better.
Always in love,
Addi Stewart
Tell us what you think