Polyamory Dating

Truth and Lies in Poly Relationships

Sad Woman Lying in Bed

One thing I learned at Pride Weekend in Toronto is that sharing is caring. And stealing is revealing!

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What do people steal? And why? And when it comes to poly and sex and relationship romance, what do people try to take from each other? And when? And for what reason?

These things REVEAL the essence of someone’s values. What they will bend their sense of justice for. What they try to damage, destroy, distort, disrupt…

The moments where ego steps in, pushes the heart out, and makes its presence known, by trying to control the emotional environment and sexual surroundings is worth analyzing—deeply—especially when they are made by sexy, smart people WHO SHOULD KNOW BETTER. But, ah… failings.

We would not be human without failings. We also wouldn’t know the difference between right and wrong. So I guess it has its place.

The question is: do you know how to put your ego in its place when its time to displace its egregious failings? Some don’t. No matter how beautiful and attractive they are. And this is especially true of erotic people who play with public representations of sexuality often.

Can you let someone you love have a special moment with someone else in your vicinity, without intruding or exploiting it? Do you have to get a piece of the action every time? Do you feel insecure when your partners are around and are not paying attention to you? Some people are control freaks like that. Straight up and down, let’s not fuck around!

Fucking around is something I’m not good at in any capacity. I’m real as fuck and fun as hell. But it’s not fun when I’m real to people being unreal and unfun. You know what’s unfun?

FAKENESS. And not the acting kind where we know we are being silly and fake, but the falsification kind where you have no idea that a person is being a fraudulent friend and lover.

Sometimes it’s more obvious, and you can choose whether you’re going to engage with the fuckory, just watch it float by foolishly, or attack with unhappy passion and justice.

There are times when people are stealing moments of truth, stealing the potential for honesty, stealing the opportunity for balance… and they are not even aware of their theft.

Then there are times when people are consciously manipulating other people’s relationships, emotions and situations in sex and intimacy. It’s atrocious to observe.

When you are poly, you’re supposed to practice compersion consistently, daily and weekly and monthly. You’re supposed to practice truth MORE than you practice lying. You’re supposed to be sharing yourself, not stealing from everyone else.

But that’s just me and my morals. What do I know?

Love. True Love is what I know.

Sincerely,
Addi Stewart

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