Polyamory Dating

How Do You Measure The Speed of a Relationship?

Couple Standing in front of Subway

It’s an untraditional, unmeasurable, unspoken question, but it’s something that still exists and absolutely guides the growth or death of a connection between people.

I’m a light-speed loverboy who will say “I LOVE YOU” to someone I want to give my heart to immediately. And I mean IMMEDIATELY, either within the first five minutes or the first day of meeting someone.

I know what kind of fear-filled, Victorian, stiff-upper-lip conservative and repressive (aka sex-shaming) society we live in. I know that I’m not supposed to “give too much too soon” (a verbal boundary placed on all people to limit their emotional vulnerability and attachment.)

I despise playing by anyone’s rules of love besides mine. I make myself happy when I tell others how I feel when I feel it. I don’t need it reciprocated, and there are no strings attached. My love is a golden gift to take, not dirty money to borrow.

So, I reveal my truth in the first days, first weeks, and never wait a few months to tell someone how I feel, unless they are in another situation where my reveal would be a selfish choice, as well as a complication to their heart. I choose my moments of truth carefully, but I dive into them!

Women are often encouraged not to “give too much too soon” (a sexual boundary placed on them, and NOT really socially or verbally reinforced by men) as a warning to limit their erotic, existential power, as well as their identity and freedom potential. This boundary keep things moving at a basic pace.

Other dating boundaries might be going on a minimum of three dates before being intimate, no sex at all until a commitment is made, or no talk of past lovers. There are some basic rules circulated to the masses that slow down love and adult-negotiated sex. There are choices to make.

There are benefits, risks and drawbacks to having sex on the first night, as well as to waiting three to six months (but I’m not going to suggest waiting until marriage, because THAT is something I DO NOT endorse!)

I just want people to know how happy I’ve been by making love and having sex as soon as superhumanly possible. I made love to an angel the second rendezvous we had, and we’ve already slept at each other’s houses, within a month of first meeting.

Light-speed love happens sometimes! Don’t let fear, jealousy, greed, or anger slow it down. Fly forward into your relationships, and do your best to not delay anything for any reason. You’ll find paradise so fast!

Addi Stewart

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