First Time Polyamory Experience: Part 1

Part 1: Diving into the Poly Pool

I was in threesomes (another girl and guy) while I was in college but nothing that ever lasted more than one night. The guy usually got all the action as I was willing to kiss a girl but would never go down on her. I got married, had conventional boring sex for years, and then divorced. Now I’m looking online for something meaningful but am open to a fling here and there.

I get a lot of messages to my online profile but don’t respond to one-liners like,“Hey baby, you’re hot” or “How has your day been, buttercup?” I’m looking for someone that’s actually read my profile and says something to peak my interest. I got just that  from a man named Trayvon. He commented on many specifics in my profile, not just my looks. What threw me for a loop is that he wasn’t just writing for himself, he was also writing on behalf of his girlfriend of three years. He said “I/We may not be the kind of relationship you are looking for. . .”

He was very well written (a bonus) and invited me to join them ‘in a warm, loving, open relationship’. He said they meet people separately, which I guessed meant they date separately. He described him and his girlfriend as passionate people with busy lives like myself and whom coincidentally shared some of my unique interests.

The idea of being in a poly relationship got me reading and exploring the idea and the challenges that come with it. I was attracted to Trayvon’s photos and his gentle prose, but I wasn’t interested in a sexual relationship with his girlfriend, hence, I worried even meeting her would freak me out.

Open relationships always seemed like the ideal, especially when I was married, but would I be able to avoid jealous feelings if I fell for Trayvon. I was getting ahead of myself but couldn’t stop thinking about the possibility – a steady source of sex and companionship without the pressure of commitment (maybe). Would I want to meet his girlfriend? What if I was attracted to her, she to me? And what was he doing approaching women that said they were looking for straight single guys?  Would it be just the three of us, or was this a deep poly pool?

I had to respond. The idea of trying an adventurous new relationship was all-consuming. I had begun masturbating again (I’d stopped months previous) and took this as a sign of encouragement. My message was honest; I let him know this wasn’t something I had tried and that I was a little reluctant despite being sexually confident. I pressed the almighty SEND button and felt instant butterflies.

Next post: Part 2: Meeting a Poly Couple

Tell us what you think

Notify of
Inline Feedbacks
View all comments