Is your heart like the stock market in any way? Do you have any kind of pre-cognition or awareness about the state of the union you are doing with other humans?
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Or is your heart like the harsh and fickle elements of Mother Nature in the most extreme environments and circumstances? You wake up and think, the forecast called for clear skies with no breeze, low humidity and consistent sunshine. Then by three in the afternoon, you’re running for shelter, shocked by the booming of thunder, the harsh downpour and near darkness that has consumed the day.
These are thinly veiled similes for the relationship scenarios we often enter… as we EXIT. Do you know when the end is coming? Did you see it on the horizon? Did you smell what the Rock of Heartbreak was cookin’?!
Nah, often we can’t and didn’t see it coming. We just showed up one day, and our lover was like “Heeeeey… guess what? I feel different than I did yesterday. And when I say different, I mean COMPLETELY different about my emotions for you… we need to talk.” And you gulp and say, “Bbbbbut… I had these flowers and was just going to ask if you wanted to take a trip to the Bahamas.” Welp.
I don’t know if poly relations have more blindside breakups than monogamous ones (I didn’t get the memo or the statistics on that there truth), but I can definitely say that I have had a few lovers mack-truck-fuck-me-up and just smash me with unexpected truth outta nowhere about changing feels.
It’s not easy or fun, but it’s real. And it happens to most, if not all of us, at some point. It doesn’t even have to be a sexual scenario, but they may impact us deepest because those are some of our most important relationships (unless you’re an ace or celibate or something) and that’s just the truth, word to Dr. Ruth.
There are warning signs, of course. Arguments that just won’t end, abusing or abusive moments of shock and awe, or cheating (that usually does the trick but not always.)
But there may or may not be signs of cheating, and there may not be signs of impending doom and dissolving. Sometimes someone just wakes up, and they want a different thing than they did yesterday! You just gotta know where the cleaning supplies are, if shit happens out of nowhere!
You can bet that either a lover or a friend WILL blindside you at some point in your life with emotional truth or sexual facts that blow your mind and explode your heart.
Be careful when you’re dealing with the wreckage, and be mindful not to blindside anyone else too brutally… if you can possibly be so kind.
Warning signs are on the highway for a reason! “20-CAR PILE UP, 5 KM AHEAD! DRIVE SLOW!”
Try not to join the relationship wreckage…
love,
Addi
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