Stories

Short-Term Pain for Long-Term Change in Poly Relationships

Couple Walking and Talking

This story is super real, not that they all aren’t when I write about my polyamory adventures and relationships on this blog. It comes from an extremely vulnerable moment and situation with someone I love so dearly that words cannot really capture what we have created. But we try to express the emotions, right? Yes.

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This is a love so tender, so darling and sacred to me. We both recognize the special magic it holds, and neither of us thankfully are too egotistical to put ourselves over the love we share together, or be selfish with our desires and needs while exploiting the foundation of love and truth we stand on.

We recognized recently that life was pulling each of us apart in challenging directions. We were also having trouble balancing time and space with each other, enough to invest the energy desired to keep the relationship growing and flying with the full potential and force it deserves and was destined to rise to.

One thing I believe about love, is that it truly is one of the few realms of life where taking one step back or one step to the left or right, or even standing down for a while, might be the best answer for the overall health and welfare of everyone involved.

Love is a journey, not a sprint or a hurdle, so the idea that short-term pain isn’t worth long-term change is unaware and unfortunate. Hope is a strategy in this case. Putting hope into a relationship is something I’ve been made to experience first-hand on more than one occasion, and to exist in polyamory I believe THIS lesson is a necessary and excruciating behavior to learn. It’s the trust switch.

You both change the parameters of the relationship, but you both invest faith in the future of the relationship too. No lies, no games, no tricks. Just yes, we love each other and we want to get back together… but first we gotta fix shit. It happens.

I have faith in our love. It’s far too golden to let a first-quarter, time-out breather be the end of the dream.

So yeah, if you need to take a moment with a lover, do that. Then come back.

Love,
Addi Stewart

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