You might have someone in your life who has just the right amount of time and space to allow your freedom and joy to flourish without too many boundaries, too much pressure, or too much responsibility. This person is someone who you can share a deep amount of love, passion, and trust together when you do connect. Do you have that person?
I have a couple of these special people in my life, one who comes from out of town, over seven hours, to make love with me. I have so much joy and wisdom to give this lover, and their understanding of poly and love is far beyond the average. It’s a pleasure to have them in my life to share our serious passion and sexuality.
This connection exists above space and time in my eyes, but that doesn’t mean I couldn’t communicate with them more often. I have problems with long-distance relationships because the lack of proximity makes me long for times of closeness, and I tend then to focus on who I can connect to.
I love sex, if that hasn’t been established already. So, I give it to who I can give it to as often as I can. That’s the kind of poly I practice. And thank god this lover comes to see me when they can, and we make the most of the little time we get to share here and there. It’s a blessing that they allow this limited time and space of maximum passionate connection with me! That’s a poly miracle in my eyes and heart, that’s for damn sure.
The flip side would be to having someone with many boundaries and obstacles to connection, and more requirements to allow trust to grow together. I’m not against people making requests for their emotional security in sexual connection—it’s not something simple like asking for someone serving food to take onions off the burger they’re cooking for you, but soul food that is being shared between two people.
My lover comes a long way to deliver this soul food to me! Whatever she asks for, she can have. But this is why I specify that I’m lucky to have her in my life: she doesn’t ask for much! There are lovers who live in the same city as me, and have less life responsibilities, and STILL seek more borders and limitations and requests in our poly connections.
My heart is capable of balancing both, and I don’t see either of these people on a weekly basis, so it’s manageable. But the relief of being with a poly partner who doesn’t mind you making love with another person in front of them the first time you go to a sex club together, and they come from out of town to go with you? THAT is a lucky level of poly freedom to be living and loving on!