Going Deeper with a New Poly Partner

There are many milestones in a relationship that is open and untraditional like the poly pleasure realms we create together.

Your first kiss together is obviously one of the great milestones in the evolution of a relationship. But this next one is something that happened to me last night for the first time with a special lover, and it was so miraculous, she actually asked me, “Are you okay? You’re so quiet right now, I feel like you’re an introvert all of a sudden!”

I’m a passionate Leo musician and porn star, so I’m not often mistaken for a shrinking violet displaying introverted navel gazings. But it was so new and wonderful for me to share this new experience with my lover, and it was the one-of-a-kind bliss of THE FIRST SLEEPOVER!

She lives at home with parents in a situation that doesn’t allow me to visit (yet… fingers crossed for the expansive future) but this was the weekend that the parental units decided to go to New York City for a few days! So, luckily I got the Official Invitation to Spend The Night! This is a kind of make-or-break situation for many relationships, even though it isn’t spoken.

Who knows? They could have some gross night-time habits, some disappointing dinner table manners, some revolting personal space issues, or just do some weird ass behavioral sabotage shit that wrecks what one thought was a good idea, and the shits how commences. But nope! I passed with flying colors.

I was accepted by her dog and her cat. I didn’t break any dishes when I ate the food I was offered. And I even remembered to keep her polyamory lifestyle silent from the awareness of one of the guests who came in to party with us in the middle of the evening, and that was really a trophy-winning moment for me.

They ended up doing their own thing, all three ladies, while I stayed in my lover’s bed for the first time, waiting til she got back home… before we made love marvelously. We slept in each other’s arms joyfully, and I found out what it was like to sleep beside a sweet lover for eight sacred hours.

Some morning delight happened too, which made the sleepover even better! So yeah, I hope you get to the point where you can have one of these sweet nights occur. It changes things for the better in deep ways if you can share blankets all night!

Addi Stewart

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