Do You Need Closure Every Time a Relationship Ends?

Poly life can be plentiful and bounteous. There are times where one person can be involved with over ten lovers, and as with everything you read here, I speak from personal experience.

There are times where I have had different lovers every day of the week, and it’s been marvelous. But… anyone who knows anything about life knows: nothing lasts forever. And what is the invisible sticky substance that life is made out of?


One thing I know about love, is that it does NOT always announce itself—neither when it is coming, nor when it is going. So, if we keep that in mind, do we always need to declare it or denounce it? Do we always need to acknowledge and accept it when it’s real, and then depart and disappear from it when it dies? The choice is yours.

I met one of the best lovers of my life almost a year ago. The first thing they said to me was, “I want to fuck you!” That literally was the very first thing that came out of this angel’s mouth. I was SO happy to hear those words. We met up two days later and had sex five times.

I thought it was a very special connection. Did she feel the same? I thought so, for a while. Then I never heard from her after a few more great visits. She just evaporated from everything I thought we shared in love.

I texted her a few times after, nothing too obsessive or stalker like. Once a week for a few weeks. We had already had sex and I had already got texts from her, so I don’t think I asked for or did anything unreasonable.

She stopped replying altogether, and I think it’s time I let the dream go. But how do I do it? I wish I could do it in person. Just hug her and say “thanks for the lovely moments” then leave. That would be best, but I don’t think I’ll see her anytime soon. For me, the relationship was too beautiful to end with a text message.

So… maybe this will just linger and float away into nothingness without any real closure between us. She just stopped caring. It sucks, but it happens.

I can wait and hope that she tries one last time, but the question remains: Do we always need closure? My open heart wonders as I say Godspeed, Sweet Angel to the mysterious lover who left her presence in my past.

Addi Stewart

Tell us what you think

Notify of
Inline Feedbacks
View all comments