Celebrating More than Anniversaries in Polyamory

Couple Making Out

It’s been a damn good 2018 so far, ladies and gentlemen! I’ve been enjoying so many different relationships, fantasies, articles, blogs, surprise random connections and reconnections—I really need to get a reality TV show.

Is there a polyamory-based televised show? I promise y’all that my adventures and activities would bring a smile to your jaw weekly! I had two lovers take space from me in the last two weeks… but I met three new ladies, and one of them I had magnificent love with. Hot damn, it’s the best when lovers don’t wait to make love!

Anyways, these are the layers of the elements of life that I am appreciating and celebrating these days. Since time and space and energy and revelations of truth occur at totally different speeds than in monogamous relationships, I have realized the traditional trajectory of relationships in a heteronormative nuclear family supporting culture really are not the targets to aim for.

So many people have so many different possibilities for sexual, emotional, spiritual, and physical connections that I started to think of how many ways there are to celebrate. There could be nearly endless things to celebrate, but it all depends on your values and boundaries! I need to get cakes and pies from other cultures to start categorizing my awesome existence and experiences!

I have ten lovers, two who I celebrated a one-year anniversary with. I also had a lover leave for a year on tour and come back into my life recently, as well as a lover I’ve been with for almost three years… there’s so much to celebrate!

Thus I thought: what are the milestones that some people could choose, instead of waiting for the one-year anniversary and every other anniversary after that? Since we’re doing poly, having one year with one person is really not the linear scenario we are experiencing, so why think like that?

There’s usually a variety of individuals between possible intervals of time where there is nobody, and when there are people there they are all growing and shrinking at different rates and levels… so how can we simply use time as a measurement of importance? We can’t! Well, I can’t.

5 Milestone Markers in My Polyamory Relationships

1) first time meeting a family member
2) first time having dinner together
3) first time going on vacation together
4) first time sleeping over at someone’s house
5) first time moving in together

Any of these can happen at any point in time, and they’re not always equally measurable statistics to determine the depth and seriousness of a relationship, especially when you’re poly! BUT it’s still something worth celebrating and noticing when it happens with other lovers, yes ma’am!

Addi Stewart

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