Whether you’ve never done it before or done it a thousand times, a first time you have group sex with our partner can be scary, awkward, or the hottest and most beautiful thing ever.
Sharing your lover with someone else is such a radically intimate act that nothing else compares to it.
To make the most of your first group sex experiences, keep a few simple dos and don’ts in mind.
How to Have Group Sex with a Partner
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DO decide on boundaries and desires for the first group sex experience.
Even if you’re both widely experienced in poly arrangements, it’s a good idea to decide in advance what you expect from this particular occasion. There can be leeway as events proceed, but having a general idea of what you want and don’t want will help to structure the orgy and lets you avoid emotional and physical surprises.
For example, it might be too soon to watch your wife fulfill a gang-bang fantasy the first time you get together with other couples.
DON’T be too rigid.
On the other hand, go with the flow to some degree in order to let the soul of sex lead you both to new heights.
“I couldn’t wait to see my new girlfriend give head to the neighbor’s wife—a woman I’d been dying to see naked for years,” says Reg, 34. “I sure wasn’t expecting for Kevin and myself to both get cozy in between my girl’s legs and go to town on her together. Later, my girlfriend told me that this had been a big fantasy of hers, to have two men go down on her at once.”
Now that’s what I call win-win-win!
DO be open to the needs and desires of your new partners.
To you, this might be all about watching your new lover get nailed by the plumber, but remember that the other participants are not just fantasy fodder—they are living, breathing people who are getting intimate and vulnerable with you. They are excited and nervous and bring their own wants and hopes to the table.
Read: 5 Things Group Sex Porn Gets Wrong
DO prioritize playing safe.
This one’s a no brainer. Safe sex is awkward at times, and in group sex there are all that many more variations and body parts that need to be kept sorted out and safe.
Your partner(s) health and protecting your own body is incredibly vital. If things are hot and comfortable, you’ll want to play again and play often, so sending signals that your first priority is health and safety for all is important.
Read: 7 Rules for Group Sex Encounters
DON’T overthink the group sex experience later.
Part of the thrill of having group sex is getting back to one on one with your primary partner, and exciting one another with the memories of what you saw and did together. Show her that she’s your number one, because she needs to feel secure so that she can really let go during those threesomes or group scenes.
If a woman has even the slightest worry that you prefer your extracurricular partners to her, or that you can’t get horny for her without thinking up ways to share her, she’s already slipping away.
You have a woman who is polyamorous and wants to experience wild fantasies and group sex with you. That’s not something you want to give up!
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