Is There a Breaking Point in Polyamory?

Polyamory is a formula for infinity. Besides the basic rules of time and space during the day and night, we can basically do whatever we want with whoever wants to do it with us, in polyamory. Meaning some really wild shit can happen, depending on the day! And with compersion abounding, your partners may be doing nothing but cheering you on, and wingman/wingwomanning you to sexual and emotional success beyond your wildest fantasies! But when do you know you are taking on too much?

There are scientific studies that say a person supposedly cannot be genuine friends with more than a group of 150 people, that recognition of faces and names starts to decrease drastically after that point, and ostensibly, relationships are supposed to deteriorate. I don’t know if that is universally applicable, but for the sake of giving some credit to the study, I will concede that there is a point where each person cannot give more of their essence to others in a balanced and holistic fashion.

One man cannot penetrate more than a certain number of people at a time, and a woman or other person cannot be penetrated by more than a certain number of people at one time! Depending on erections, fingers, feet, tongues and other objects and orifices, there IS a limit to the things that we can do to each other. And even though I’m leaning towards sacred/profane sexual connection, it’s applicable in every other realm of connection, from emotional to spiritual, verbal, intellectual and social.

10 Problems that may Prove Fatal to Fun Loving

1.   Can’t keep commitments to partners

2.   Partners complaining about not being present

3.   Not getting enough sleep or personal time

4.   Unable to financially maintain one’s desired social/sexual lifestyle

5.   Unhappiness in any scenario, always feeling dissatisfied

6.   Health issues and emotional instability becoming unmanageable

7.   Hesitating to tell new people your full situation

8.   Private sex life you would be ashamed to reveal to anyone

9.   Ignoring partners requests for you to not see others

10. Confusion between lovers names during sex

If these things are happening on a regular basis, or even more than rarely… then it might be the perfect time to step back, and think twice about the poly speed you’re travelling. I don’t want to judge or control anyone’s decisions, but at the same time: the partners you impact could be the partners that impact me! It’s polyamory, and the world is smaller than we think. Even if I never become your ex-girlfriend’s new lover, she doesn’t deserve you operating with less than total integrity in your polyamory. That’s the only way this stuff works!

Watch yourself. And love yourself for watching yourself.

Sincerely yours,
Addi Stewart

Looking for new partners? Fin playmates at!

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