Don’t Try This at Home: Long-Distance Poly Relationships

I’m practicing things I don’t do very well. If you open your eyes and mind to the bedside whispers of your lovers, you just might hear a life-altering idea that will serve you well to adhere to.

One of my genius super powerful lovers said to me, “If you’re so amazing at lovemaking, imagine how much better you could be at other things in your life if you applied the same intensity and commitment.”

So, in the spirit of working on the weaker parts of one’s internal fortitude, I’ve been trying to get over what I used to tell myself in my early thirties: I don’t do long-distance relationships.

I had an amazing lover when I was thirty-two. We were part of a special connection with one other lover who lived two hours away. This long-distance lover came to visit many times and we made great love, AND she met other lovers who enjoyed her physical company, but… our relationship fizzled on my end because of one reason: she lived so far away.

Six months of great times ended because I was too lazy to be consistent when she did all the work to show up. It was selfish of me, but I did admit that it was my super-poly kryptonite!

So now, I’m trying to get stronger, faster, better. And I’ve been in a long-distance relationship of sorts, for almost a year now! It’s been great to try and keep something going with someone when there is no plan of physical contact anytime soon. And the rules change in that situation, being poly.

It’s WAY EASIER to talk about the LOGICAL choice to have other lovers (something I think monogamous people in long-distance relationships should consider.)

Another consideration: what are the boundaries when the connection finally IS made? When you finally see them, do you act monogamous with a poly partner who is a long-distance away from you because you rarely get to connect?

Ha, the irony of that! But honestly, there’s logic there, and I will tell you how it works out because I’m gonna probably do that when I finally see my long-distance lover.

Because we’re both poly, she suggested we don’t call it long-distance, because that just adds pressure. She is not just beautiful, but brilliant.

Addi Stewart

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