Not everyone likes the idea of being tied up and at the mercy of their lover, but many certainly do! And it’s okay not to want to be tied up, but rather to be the one tying. I myself, prefer to switch roles when it comes to dominating and submitting. Although bondage is part of BDSM, it’s also kinky fun that can be explored by vanilla couples or triads in poly relationships. It was my first exploration into kink, and I didn’t stop there! Here are some tips for bondage beginners.
Only try bondage with someone you trust. This seems like a no brainer, but we can often get carried away in the moment and allow ourselves and our partners to go beyond our comfort zones. That’s not good for anyone. Practice bondage with a trusted lover.
Go at your own pace. Most people aren’t going to want to be tied up spread eagle the first time because it’s an extremely vulnerable position to be in. I recommend tying the wrists with a loose-fitting restraint such as a tie or scarf, just to get the feeling of bondage, while still being able to release oneself if necessary.
Talk about your limits. It’s very important to discuss bondage ahead of time, and you don’t have to do that right before you try it, as some couples find this will spoil the mood during sex. Talk about boundaries and limits, what you are willing to try, not willing to try, and what you might want to try in the future. Also, what are you going to do once one of you is tied up. Create a safe word together that can be used when either of you becomes uncomfortable and wants the play to stop.
Use your imagination. For some, bondage can get quite serious, especially in dominant/submissive roles or for those who practice S&M. If you’re new to all this, try to have fun with it. You may want to act out a role play you’ve fantasized about such as teacher/student or boss/employee.
Keep exploring. Not all couples are kink compatible, so don’t let one so-so experience of bondage prevent you from trying again, if you are interested. Bondage goes very well with other fun bedroom activities and accessories such as blindfolds, sensory play, spanking, and massage.
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