How to Handle a Polyamory Breakup

Love lasts forever, you know. It keeps changing form, and never really is the same thing twice if we’re being super passionate and honest with it and with how it’s influencing our connections.

But relationships are not the same as love. And relationships change, even if the love remains. So, I’d like you to reflect on as many relationships as possible. Think of all the lovers you’ve had. And once you fill your heart with all the memories of all the wonderful, beautiful, identity-altering relationships you’ve had in your lucky-ass life, I want you to reflect on one more important thing:


What was the most graceful and peaceful exit someone has taken from the special space in your heart they once owned so eternally? Do you have the ability to reminisce over them, in goodness? And upon remembering that last day of those good lovers back in the days, do you remember who initiated the last goodbye? Was it you or was it them? How many times have you been that person?

Not to make judgements, but I really want people to reflect on the first relationships they had that were really meaningful and passionate, and how much innocence and hope lived in them. Another reason for that deep reflection is that those relationships are hopefully less likely to be connections that faded away for no reason
and for nothing logical.

Those sad endings, when one person ghosts another, or one just stops caring and stops trying, are not ones with
instructive moments of peaceful separation to ruminate upon. Those are cautionary tales to never repeat if possible, please n thanks. I want people to really think about the times they loved someone, and they both cared about each other, and possibly other people in the scenario, but it was all good regardless…

And then it just had to end, but it wasn’t a sad end. It was a sacred change. A trust switch. A graduation of sorts. A shift in situation, but not a negative occurrence. Something that is done with respect and honor to the love. That happens sometimes, and when it does, it’s a beautiful thing to experience. It proves that it doesn’t always have to end in heartbreak and dysfunction and disrespect and drama. No thank you.

It can end with a simple email explaining the reasons for one person’s emotional adjustment, and the honest promise to either be friends or future lovers from the next moment on out. This is good. One can’t be mad at that, and honestly, it’s a beautiful blessing for some relationships to honestly take a break.

A few of my poly lovers have had months if not years between reconnections. And when that really manifests destiny again, it’s GLORIOUS. Method Man has a song called “Break Ups 2 Make Ups.” This is what it means. Things fall apart, only to reconnect stronger than ever sometimes. And this certainly happens in sex, polyamory & love.

Thank you to those lovers in my life who have gracefully kissed now goodbye, and opened their heart to a possible chance in the future. I trust we will touch souls again when love needs us to…

Sincerely yours truly,
Addi Stewart

Check out the “Break Ups 2 Make Ups” video:

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