I love sucking on cock and consider it a very important part of my repertoire, but some guys feel like they only get blowjobs when they’re dating someone new.
If it’s been a while since you were the starring member in The Magic Flute, here’s how to get that whistle wet again.
DO find a partner who loves giving blowjobs.
Makes sense, right? You probably already have one. Of your partners today, you can probably say that one of the women enjoys it more than another.
It can be awkward to communicate a need, especially something so basic and almost old fashioned—it might be easier to say that you’ve always wanted to try something more outlandish or unusual. Approach it by using a memory—tell her you were thinking about that time when… and how much you’ve missed her special touch.
DON’T whine, beg and plead, or shove your dick in her mouth.
Nothing turns a gal off faster than this kind of stuff, no matter what it is you’re after. If you can’t communicate properly by asking nicely, why would we want to do anything to make you feel good? You can’t feel good by making us feel bad.
DON’t hurry things along once you get there.
One reason I don’t give more involved dick sucking sessions is pretty simple—just when I get down on my knees and start licking those balls, you’re already moving things on to get to my pussy.
DO get more comfortable receiving.
Part of the reason you hurry on to a woman’s vajayjay is your gallant desire to “not leave her out.” You’re thinking about her orgasm. You want to make sure you’re giving, not just receiving. That’s wonderful. But there’s a time and place, and getting more comfortable with receiving—when she wants to indulge you or has agreed to wait—can be all you need to get more head.
DON’T forget to reciprocate.
On the other hand, if you never spoil her with pussy licking sessions, don’t expect much in way of a decent blow job.
I don’t enjoy what I call tit-for-tat sex. I don’t want you to lick my pussy for thirty seconds and then I suck your dick. I don’t want you to go down on me just after I spoiled you with an explosive orgasm in my mouth. If you finger me I don’t need to immediately reach for your cock with my digits.
The idea of egalitarian sex too often translates into this, where there is no subtle flow or imaginative meandering.
As mentioned above, some studies that say women suck on your dick more often than you lick our pusses might be technically true, but from what I hear from the ladies on martini night, we don’t always want you going down just because we gave you a few slurps. Pussy licking is more of a session—I love it when two lovers spend the afternoon torturing me with their tongues, for example, or when I rekindle a deep intimacy with a lover through multiple oral orgasms.
Reciprocation can happen at a different time and should feel like a treat for you too.
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