Tips & Advice

Aligning Boundaries after a Breakup

Couple Bonding

No dream lasts forever. The best part of that truth is when a dream comes to an end, we all hope and pray for a respectable, honorable, peaceful resolution and conclusion. If it is a romantic relationship dream, that’s certainly the wish I believe is worth working towards.

All that time and energy invested into keeping the dream alive, and when it finally reaches its denouement, crash it and burn it? Nah, why not just put it on the shelf, and remember it well. Sounds like a good idea to me.

But, what if… you two can’t decide on how high you should mount that shelf? (It’s metaphor time, baby. Strap in.)
Considering that you’re both working on keeping the memory of the relationship alive, it stands to reason that you should have some sort of equal say in how the post-relationship relationship exists and moves forward.

Shouldn’t it be a balanced compromise of each person’s needs and capabilities? If one person can’t handle being around the other without suffering emotionally, but the other person wants to go out for coffee every week, there’s an obstacle that has to be handled before any healthy friendship can manifest.

Forcing it is no good, and not recognizing all the possible angles and aspects both people can attempt to shine light on is not wise. Aligning the boundaries of each person’s emotional architecture after a relationship trust switch is not easy… but it’s worth so much more than it seems, since it will be breathing afterlife into the former living dream.

Can’t put a square-heart peg in a round-heart hole. Here’s hoping your pieces fit into each other’s future…

Addi Stewart

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